In order to understand how to handle emotional pain, we need a fair understanding of our emotions. Do you understand how to handle yourself when you feel emotional pain?

I am a tough nut but there are times I found myself paralyzed by the sheer depth and breath of nonsense happening around. May be you are a tougher nut and the title doesn’t apply to you.

You don’t deal with pain.

You accept it and carry on with a smile, in spite of it. It’s similar to dealing with fear. You accept it and move on in spite of it. The point is as they have been saying for a while, the show must go on.

You must have seen this analysis. If you haven’t, look at it now.

Let’s look at the hypothesis of problems that cause emotional pain

1. Do you have a problem in life- NO- then, why worry? This is pretty straight forward. But, this is more of a satire since I do not think as long as you are human and alive, you will not have problems. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE PROBLEMS ARE DEAD.
2. Do you have a problem in life -YES- Do you have a solution for it -YES- then, why worry? This one is not as simple, because sometimes we don’t even know if there is a solution. Most times, we know the solution but we are scared of failing and hence we do not apply the solution which could potentially turn the problem on it head. However, when you do have a clear solution, apply.
3. Do you have a problem in life -YES- Do you have a solution for it -NO- then, why worry? We are humans. When we don’t have solutions for problems, it pains us because in so many of these cases, there are lives involved-ours and those of our loved ones.

Having said all this, I find this graphic pretty useful and intelligent for everyday working capital problems/issues. I think it’s a great way to reach a carefree state of mind. While we try to figure the solutions, if they exist and while we keep the hope alive, even where none exists.

The mind is a set of emotional compartments

There are compartments we can create in our minds. I mean, just having a shot at accepting reality. Let me try to create a few compartments.

1. The Happiness/Joy Compartment: This involves things and people which make us happy. They are there with us to be happy and they won’t be around in times of pain. They do not deserve our pains and frustrations because they have own share and won’t be bothered, which is fair. The happiness compartment is the public compartment, public means you have company.
2. The Pain Compartment:  Now, this has to be sacred and should only be the solitude compartment. You could share it with people who love you but then remember not to overstretch it. They don’t either deserve you at your weakest all the time. If you need a shoulder to cry, cry on it but remember to kiss it post. All of us are fighting a tough battle everyday to keep a smile on our faces. All of us have our share of pains-someone has lost their father, their mother, their loved ones, there are orphans in our society who have none to call their own. There is poverty, inequality and myriad sources of pain and reasons to keep crying. But that’s not the point. The point is how we keep a smile on our faces, as much as possible, as long as possible. Wallowing in pain does not improve it. We must be brave and smile and make ours and others’ happiness the purpose of our existence.

Actually, there should be only these 2 compartments. Everything else is irrelevant.

In conclusion- handling emotional pain

Some of us will spend will end up spending majority of our time in the joy compartment and some of us will spend much in the pain compartment. We all have our share of destiny. Anyhow, it’s important to remember that the world does not deserve your pain and frustrations. It has its own share and it wants people who can inject some joy and find comedy in the story of life.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle- Plato

Be happy, for everyone needs a smile and a laugh, even the ones who are in deep pain. It does not help to delve and invest in pain. It stays the same or gets worse. If you are upset, you cannot help anyone. If you are down, you cannot pick anyone up. Be the one to lend out a hand, when they need it. Cry if you must, alone. The world needs a smiling face; it needs people who can make others smile and laugh, no matter what. It takes courage to smile when you want to cry. Find that courage, from wherever you will. Go around. Make them glad to see you. Don’t see the ones you are not glad to see yourself. 

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani