Welcome to the happiness blog. In case you are visiting for the first time, please do not forget to follow. Each post on this blog has a single objective- to make your everyday life happier.
Why do we need to feel good?
What’s the alternative- to feel bad?
How is that a good alternative?
We need to understand something. Our thinking, whatever goes through our mind, has a few objectives. One of those objectives is to solve problems. Another objective is to make us feel good about ourselves.
Why would you choose to think in a way that you feel shitty about yourself? I don’t know. But, apparently, most people end up doing this, day in and day out.
They make a hell of their otherwise good life.
I was talking to a friend recently, who I thought has been doing well. When we spoke a little more bit, he spoke about his desire to see a mental health specialist because he had been feeling depressed off late.
Mind you, on social media, he had been doing fine and happy and you wouldn’t know that he was going through a mental health crisis and feeling unhappy most of the time. When we discussed a little more, I realized that he had been focusing a lot on what others around him had been doing, and not really caring about how far he had come. He has come quite far. In fact, a lot of people look at him as an inspiration, and here he is, talking of sadness and depression.
Ever since that conversation, I have realized that this is a disease in the society. My friend isn’t a total outlier. He does represent a large chunk of the society who in spite of having so much that life has had to offer, does not care to look at any of it.
Instead, he is focussing all his energy on what’s fucked up about his life and as a consequence, feeling miserable. I repeat- one of the most important purposes of our thinking is to make us feel good about ourselves. Why won’t we do that?
How do you feel good about yourself?
Let us look at a few ways to feel good below:
1. Understand that life can never be perfect
Nobody’s life is perfect. Life cannot be perfect at any moment in time. It is rightfully called a roller-coaster. However, unlike a swing, we don’t know when we are going down and when we will go up. Also when we go down, it may last longer than we had planned.
Life cannot be perfect. Everything will never be right and in the right place. There will be many things fucked up in any moment in your life. There will also be certain things in place.
Most of you who are reading this have had your education in place. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this. That is one thing that’s in place about your life. On the flip side, one of your relatives may be sick and you would be worried about them.
In somebody else’s life, something else may be totally off. For example, they may get a promotion on one end and their wife leaves them on the other hand. Human life is mortal. Somebody or the other is always dying in a certain block of time.
The point being, that human life can never be perfect. There are few moments, if we are fortunate when everything is good- we are in love, our parents are in love, we love our work, we are achieving success in it and it seems that this dream will never be over.
However, it’s an unlikely dream. Most people don’t get a perfect life. You are not the only one with an imperfect life. There are others too whose life is not perfect in its own way and you know nothing about it.
So, this is one truth we need to accept that no matter what happens, life will never be quite perfect.
2. Comparison will kill your joy
If you continue to compare your life with those of other people and then look at deficiencies in your life, you will never feel good about your life. Nature did not intend lives to be similar. Even identical twins have distinct fingerprints. That means our lives are meant to be distinct as well.
Therefore, the only way to really feel good is to focus on your life. Understand your strengths, your weaknesses and things you would like to improve on. Then, double down on your strengths.
Stop comparing your life with those of other people. Stop trying to catch up with the Jones’s or the Kardashians. It is a waste of life. They have a different life. You have a different life. You cannot get famous like Kim Kardashian did. Can you? Even if you can, she was first in the game so will always have the first fucker, sorry the first mover advantage.
Stop wanting to be them. Be more of you if you want to feel good about yourself.
3. Run or exercise everyday
Do whatever it takes to get your body moving. This is regardless of what is happening in your life. A half an hour run will do you better than slouching all day in the bed and feeling bad about your life.
When you run, you release endorphins, which makes you feel good. Fuck the science behind it. Just observe it for yourself. I have been running for 15 years. I know it. I was clinically depressed for a period of 6 months in my life and one of the features of the period that I had stopped working out.
I have faced even tougher periods in my life post that instance of clinical depression. But, I have never stopped running and hence so far, I have not allowed depression to creep into my life again.
A healthy mind lives in a healthy body and vice versa. Fuck soul.
4. Laugh your stress off
Figure out a way to laugh your stress off. Google laughter yoga sessions or stand-up comedy shows. Go and hit them. When you laugh, you hear the sounds of life within you.
There is no way you cannot feel good after having laughed out aloud a bit. If you can’t move out, hit online and find comedy shows or movies or whatever you like.
You will find something that will make you laugh. Find a way to laugh. You will feel good. I guarantee.
5. Count your fucking blessings
Some things are repeated so many times they become clichés. But, you know the thing about most clichés. They are pieces of timeless wisdom. If you want to feel good about your life, you must look at the blessings life has given you.
You think you have no talent? Look again.
You think life has given you nothing? Look again.
If you look deeply, you will find a roof over your head, food to eat, education, an ability to work hard, a talent that you have never cared to nourish and more things in your count your blessings list. Some cliches are worth repeating over and over.
6. Find ways to make other people happy
You will not believe how happy you will feel because you made them happy. There is no greater joy in this world than realizing that we have the power to make other people happier and that is the real route to finding true happiness for ourselves.
7. Read life stories of great people
There are several stories of people in the world who have lived significantly difficult lives and have emerged successful. Their lives stand testament to the power of the human spirit. Google them up. There are times when you may find it difficult to find motivation and reading about their lives will make you feel good about your life. You will realize how fortunate you are to have your life and you must thank the universe for it, instead of holding grudges. Here is one such story of Hiro Onoda, who spent 29 years at a war that was over.
8. Take a break
If you feel overwhelmed with life and the problems that you have been dealing with for a while, take a break. Make space between the situation and your mind. Get away from it. It is important to distance ourselves from our problems sometimes when we get mentally worn out. A break helps to create the intellectual space to recover and come back refreshed.
If you are writing and get stuck in a frustrating block, go for a walk. The block would have gone by the time you return in quite likelihood.
9. Realise that life is a gift
Life is a gift that we did not earn. It was given to us.
We will also go through our shares of pains and joys in the world. Having said that, the experience of life is a net gift. In the profit and loss account of your life, no matter what happens, you can never be in a loss because life itself a grant which goes in the profit section.
10. Believe in yourself
They don’t understand you. They don’t understand how you feel and why you feel that way. It is on you to take the course of action which directs you on the path to your happiness.
11. Please allow yourself to be happy and to feel good
The ironic thing about the society that we live in is that is happiness isn’t quite celebrated. Most people are unhappy and they are fine with people with unhappy and dull. People don’t question why people are dull and lifeless. It is the accepted reality. On the other hand, if people see something laughing uproariously, they wonder what’s wrong with the person laughing.
Please allow yourself to be happy. You have way more going for you in life than you care to count. A lot of people in this world do not have health, a roof over their head, education and so many other things that you have been blessed with. The fact that you are reading this article means that you care about yourself and want you to be happy. You invest the effort to learn how to do that. You are an amazing person. Please allow yourself to be happy. Smile right now, as you read this. Are you smiling?
12. Have a heart to heart talk with yourself
Go to a room in your house where you are alone and talk to yourself. Ask yourself how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings. If you feel like crying, please cry. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman. Once you cry, you feel lighter and better. The pain needs to go away in the form of tears.
Then, tell yourself that you are amazing and that you are doing everything you can to make yourself and other people happier. You are, right?
13. Make a plan
It is possible that you have had a rough patch that has lasted a few months, may be a year. Now, you feel overwhelmed and do not know where to start. However, when you are ready to get back to the game, you will need a plan and set of goals to work on. We can’t work without knowing what to work on and the targets we need to hit. Make a plan so that you can see the things you want to achieve in the near future. The plan may be rough, but it will make you feel good and give you confidence to get started.
14. Weed out the negative thoughts. Get rid of negative people
The goal is to feel good. How would you feel good if you allow negative thoughts to linger in your mind? Weed out the negative thoughts. Refocus your energy, your thoughts on things you can do.
You must get rid of both negative thoughts and negative people.
15. Keep fighting through pain
I enjoyed the book where he has spoken about how he has fought through an incredible amount of pain in his life, both physically and mentally. There is one phrase that he used, which stuck in my mind-keep fighting through pain. He makes the point that our bodies and our minds are capable of way more than we imagine and all we need to do when we think we are done is to keep fighting through pain.
These are a few of the ways that I can recommend to you right now to feel good about yourself. I am sure there can be more ways that you have used in the past to make you feel good about yourself. Do share in the comments section.
The purpose of this post was to make you feel good about yourself and your life. I hope if you do some of the things mentioned in this post, you will walk away feeling better than you started with.
Thank you for reading.
The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.
I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.
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