I want to live an intense life, and I want you to live on as well, as a reader of my blog. Happiness is an intense emotion, and is not meant for people living life on the surface. People who live on the surface, don’t read for a starter. So, I don’t expect them to be here.
Since you are reading this, I urge you to seek intensity in everything you do- work, relationships, solo time, sex, everything. Make your life intense. Put intensity into everything.
Let us try to understand how to live an intense life in this detailed story.
The dictionary has a few definitions of intensity. I like this one:
Intensity is a high degree of emotional excitement; depth of feeling
Now, if you want to live an intense life, you want to feel intense in every moment and part of our lives- personal, social, professional, solitude. We will discuss how to live with intensity in each area of life.
Frankly, I am writing this, because I am sick of superficial people, who only live on the surface of life, and do not find depth in anything they do. They are okay with superficial work, superficial relationships, superficial conversation, and in general, superficial life.
You want to live an intense life, don’t you? Let us get started.
Why must we live with intensity?
Life is short, and each moment is precious. You don’t want to squander time, and so you want to make the best use of time that’s been made available to you. In order to do that, you want to jump into every moment with intensity, a high degree of emotional excitement or depth of feeling.
You want to do everything with a high degree of intensity, because, one life. Why life at a superficial level, on the surface?
Let us delve deep into how to live intensely, or how to live with intensity:
1. Be physically and mentally present in the moment
It is easy to be somewhere physically. But you are you there, mentally and emotionally as well? Are you reading this with your complete attention or are you distracted.
Live with intensity demands that you are completely present in the present moment. There is no way you can live intensely unless you are completely in the moment. So, practice mindfulness, and letting go of everything else, but the moment.
2. Read intense authors to live intensely
There are two kinds of reading- reading for entertainment, and reading for learning. When you read for entertainment, you read fiction and stories, which are light reads. However, if you are reading to learn or think, read authors who write non-fiction, or authors who write fiction interspersed in philosophy like Ayn Rand. If you like non-fiction, you could also consider my book on happiness.
The point is reading to think and consider important questions makes you an intense person.
3. Do hard stuff to live an intense life
Can you deadlift? It is a really hard thing to do. When we try to do really hard things, it forces us to think deeply about why we are doing it. Deadlifts, for starters, is an amazing workout, and one of my favorites. No, it is my favorite workout.
Here is how you can do a deadlift:
Anyhow, I am using deadlifts as a metaphor for anything hard in life. For example, writing this blog is really hard for me, because so far, at close to 400,000 words, it hardly makes me any money but I keep writing here, because it’s my vehicle to make the world a better place, and fuels my mission which is make the world a warm, inspired and happier place. You see, that’s fucking intense.
4. Write down a life purpose
One of the reasons most people live a superficial life, is because they don’t know why they do what they do. If you want to live intensely, you want to know the why’s of what you do. Why do you do what you do?
The reason is a purpose, which underlines your motivations. Money cannot be the purpose of life. If money is the only purpose of life, it makes life really superficial.
In order to live with intensity, you want to have a life purpose, so that everything that you do, makes sense to you.
5. Develop self-awareness to live an intense life
You will only be able to live with intensity when you know who you are. You need to develop an understanding of your motivations, desires, weaknesses, strengths. So, think about yourself, and make time for solitude. When you are by yourself, you can try and understand why you do what you do, what drives you and questions like these, which would help you in understanding yourself much better.
When you develop a good understanding of yourself, your life will take a different dimension.
6. Create intensity in your conversations
Imagine you are talking to someone, a friend or a family member. How do you make that conversation intense, and not superficial?
- Ask deep questions
- Listen intently. Put the phone away
- Look straight into their eyes and give them complete attention
On the contrary, if you have a superficial conversation with someone, you would not remember anything about them. The purpose of a conversation is to understand people. You can only understand people when you have a deep and intense conversation with them.
7. Create intensity in romantic relationships
Romantic relationship, the one you have with your partner, are different than any other relationships in life. They are different, and perhaps most important for the quality of your life, since they are based on love and not transactions.
In order to create intensity in your relationships, you can do some of the following things:
- Pay attention to your partner- schedule time for them, when they know you are physically and mentally available for them
- Listen to them and what they have to say about their day
- Have sex, as much as your appetite allows
- Be honest to them and nurture trust
If your relationship with your partner is not intense, it’s a huge opportunity for happiness wasted.
8. Make time to spend with yourself to live an intense life
I find myself recommend solitude so often. One of the reasons I have become a thinking person is because I have spent a lot of time by myself. Some of it was spent in solitude and some of it, was spent in loneliness.
Although I am rarely lonely now, I make time for solitude. If you want to live intensely, I highly recommend making time to spend with yourself, in your own company. When you are by yourself, ask yourself questions like the below:
- What’s going right?
- How do I feel and how was the day?
- Did I deal with that situation with dignity/honesty?
I do that all the time. Spending time by myself has made me a better person, or at least I think so. Make time to spend with yourself, to live intensely. It will improve your relationship with yourself and make you more thoughtful and an intense person.
9. Understand that thinking is an activity in itself
Thinking is a separate activity in itself. It is thinking that makes us intense. When we question everything about life, and try to find solutions, it makes us an intense individual. That is why, it is important that we don’t just accept the opinions of others, but form our own opinions about everything.
People who own their opinions are leaders, because most people just accept what the leaders think, and don’t think on their own. If you want to live an intense life, make time to think, during the day, or at the end of the day. It is thinking that would make you intense.
10. Walk out of superficial situations, friendships, work, relationships
If you wish to live an intense life, walk out of whatever feels superficial. Life is short, and there is no time to waste on meaningless conversations, pointless relationships or anything that doesn’t seem to value to you.
Guard your time extremely carefully. You should read a book which excites you than meeting a person who doesn’t. Those are the kind of choices you should make to live intensely. Your time is precious. Do not waste it on superficiality of any sort.
11. Be honest with yourself to live intensely
Here is the thing. You will have to answer the question all through your waking hours:
“Is this intense?”
It’s important that you are honest to yourself and not lie. If you lie, then you would end up getting into meaningless investments of time, which do not enrich your life. Always ask yourself if what you are doing or about to do is intense enough and that you feel about it deeply. Do not do anything that you don’t feel emotionally excited about. That’s superficial and pretentious.
12. Laugh loudly, have wild sex, do deep work, speak with candor to live an intense life
Put intensity into everything you do.
Laugh loudly: Laugh so loud and heartfully that everyone knows that you are laughing. Make the room come alive with your laughter.
Have wild sex: Hold your partner close, be in the moment completely, and I don’t have to tell you what to do.
Listen intently: Listen so intently every time that people want to talk to you because they know that you will understand them.
Lift hard: Lift weights and give it all you have. Keep lifting harder.
Do deep work: When you work, put the phone away, and put your soul into everything put on the paper or the slide. Do work you are passionate about, like I am passionate about writing this.
Hug tight: When you hug someone, heal them emotionally.
In Conclusion
I do think I have been able to drive the message about what it means to live intensely. I am observing myself all the time, and checking if what I am doing is intense or not.
Sometimes, because of the pressures of survival, we may have to do certain things because they support our existence. I understand that. However, on this blog, we speak of utopian life, where everyone gets to do what they love, and spend time with people they love, which is the way to happiness.
Live an intense life. Put your soul into everything you do.
Why do I write this blog?
The purpose of this blog is to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share the post with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.
I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.
Love,
Amarvani
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