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The Happiness Encyclopedia

Welcome to the happiness blog. In case you are visiting for the first time, please do not forget to follow. Each post on this blog has a single objective- to make your everyday life happier.

This is not a blog. It is a work in progress encyclopedia of human happiness. That’s one thing I am absolutely passionate about- what makes us happy as human beings?

What should an encyclopedia have? It should cover the subject in as much detail as possible. As on date, the blog has about 90 posts on what makes us happy. By the end of 2020, if things go as per plan, we will have 150. By the end of 2021, we will have covered 400+ posts on the idea of happiness.

That’s what we are trying to do here. If you are a media publication or a blog owner, please talk about us or link to the blog when you are referring to happiness. Hopefully, you will find something to link to.

So far, we have tried to cover some of the fundamental ideas of happiness. Let us review what we have so far on the expanding happiness encyclopedia.

What is happiness?

In this detailed piece, we have tried to break down the definition of happiness and why it is important. A lot of people deride the idea of happiness saying it is not easy to define and therefore, not worth pursuing. In this post, we have looked at what happiness is and why is it important.

You need to define your happiness for yourself because happiness is individualistic and subjective. Although the foundations of happiness remain the same around the world and that the goal of human life is to find happiness, the paths would differ. That is because we are all different as human beings and we have different inclinations.

No two people are similar completely. This blog has reiterated that we are different and unprecedented and therefore, the paths to happiness have to be different and self-originated. That means your path to happiness has to come from inside of you, because that’s where your happiness resides.

Go-find your happiness, my friend.

Types of happiness

Happiness is of different kinds and we experience it differently. Some people may enjoy and create their life around one kind of happiness while others may prefer working on a different emotion, a different feeling.

For example, some people create their lives around fleeting happiness and they are okay with, while others take inordinate amount of risk to create a long term form of happiness. They want to experience in their days and not only on their holidays.

In this post, we have explored happiness of different types, different kinds and broken down the emotion of happiness. If you are interesting in understand the variants of happiness, you should click on the post and read.

Does money buy happiness?

Does money buy happiness?
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This question has haunted the human race for 100’s of years, if not centuries. Especially, the current society does find itself bothered by the query. It is asked repeatedly on forums like Quora in different words and forms.

In this post, we have answered the question in detail. A few people think that money does buy happiness. On the other hand, others feel that it doesn’t buy happiness.

The answer is not that black and white. We need to understand the nature of money and what it does to our lives. Does it buy internal happiness or internal happiness has deeper sources?

We have looked at the meaning money has in our lives and then attempted to solve this old riddle.

How to find meaning in life?

Meaning is again, a complex emotion. However, it is deeply linked to human happiness. Without meaning, there can’t be any happiness and the ways to find meaning are entwined with the ways to find fulfilling happiness.

In this post, we look at the ways to create meaning in everyday life. There are largely two ways to live life- consciously and in ignorance. The sources of finding meaning are largely linked to out why’s, to the reasons to why we do things. If we do things consciously knowing our purpose, we would find that our days have meaning or else, there may be a lot of busyness in life but no meaning. Read the post for a detailed understanding of the process of finding meaning in life. It is a journey, like life.

How to find happiness after 40?

How to find happiness after 40?
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Suddenly, we find in 2020 because of the over institutionalizing of the internet in our lives, that the people running the world are in their 30’s or early 40’s having started on their journeys in their teenage or in their 20’s. People like Mark Zuckerberg, who started when he was 19. People like Larry Page and Sergey Brin who started in when they were 25. On the other hand, people who are in their 40’s and beyond who haven’t even started on their journey of happiness because they are waiting for the right time since their lives got spent up in figuring out how to earn a living and start a family. These people didn’t grow up with the internet like the generation of the late 90’s or early 21st century did, and hence did not have access to information like the later entrepreneurs did. There are writers and comedians who are winning in their 20’s and teenage and those in the 40’s are wondering where they are placed in the world.

Does that mean that those beyond 40’s are destined for misery? Hell, no!

In this post, we looked stories of people who started on the journey of self-awareness and happiness a little late in life, especially after 40. We need these stories so that we can inspire people to pursue their dreams and happiness regardless of the age.

Are you over 40 and struggling to find happiness? Read this story.

What makes Finland the happiest country in the world?

What makes Finland the happiest country in the world?
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Now, the United Nations runs an annual world happiness survey. Finland has ranked 1st on the survey for 3 years in a row. This is the happiness blog and we must talk about what is Finland doing right to be ranked the number country in the world on happiness.

We did. It turns out that it is not a fluke. Finland is doing a lot for the happiness of its people. For starters, education and health have been taken care of, by the state. They are publicly funded and available for everyone as they are considered a basic human right. That’s incredible to start with, for anyone looking at Finland from a developing country.

Not just that, they do a lot more in their work styles and flexibility, in the social construct and a feeling of togetherness. Finland is a model nation for the world and the happiest on earth. There is a lot we can learn from Finland and apply in our own lives before our governments care to do that.

Read the wonderful story of what makes Finland the happiest nation on the planet.

Is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence?

One of the reasons we struggle to find happiness as people is because we are always looking at other people’s lives and then find out what is lacking in our lives. The grass on the other side looks greener for multiple reasons, one of which is that we are not taking care of the grass on our side.

If we are to be happy, we need to focus and water the grass on our side. We must focus on our strengths while making our lives better. We can’t find happiness if we keep looking at the grass on the other side of the fence.

People with passion are happier than those without passion

If you look at your heroes in any sphere of life- arts, business or society, you will find that people with passion are at the forefront. You cannot be a writer, an athlete, an entrepreneur without passion. You have to be driven by what consumes you, by what you cannot stop dreaming about.

In this post, we look at passion and try to understand the traits of passionate people and what drives them. A lot of people in the world never really care of figure out what makes them passionate. They don’t ask them about their passion/s.

If we are to enjoy life and do work that is meaningful, we need to find our passion and that will open the door to happiness.

How to create depth in life

Depth is important because without depth, we can’t live an intimate life. What’s an intimate life? A life where we understand that it matters and the things that we want to do to make it matter.

Without depth, life is shallow, superficial and materialistic. As long as materialism and money continue to drive the society, we won’t find depth. Money is not the end of life. It is a means to an end. Similarly, if we don’t ask ourselves important questions about our lives, we will continue to live at a superficial level where deep happiness will elude us.

Happiness lives in the depths of soul and unless we make an effort to access our soul, which is who we are, and why we do what we do, we will not be able to realize or feel that happiness.

That is why, depth is important. Depth leads to meaning. Meaning leads to happiness. If you want to understand a few ways to find depth in your life, read the story and do comment in what you think about it.

How to lift your spirits

How to lift your spirits?
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No matter what we do, sometimes life hits us hard and we fall down. Sometimes, we find the strength to rise and other times, we just feel like giving up and staying down. We cannot stay down. We know that. We are not losers. We don’t want to be losers.

However, strength doesn’t come by easily. What do we do? In this post, we explore a few ways to lift your spirits when life hits hard and we can’t find the strength to rise up. There are occasions when we feel so depressed that it seems that life is over and there is nothing left to fight.

However, we must keep fighting. We must rise up and fight. Read this post, when you need the inner strength to get up and get going again.

What would you do if you had only 100 days left to live?

The great Steve Jobs used to ask himself every day that if it was his last day on the planet, would he do what he was about to do. Now, he had the answer and he created some great companies, including Apple. Now, for some folks, it is easy to figure their priorities and what they value. Others don’t figure out what they value till the end of their lives.

This question of looking at life as if you only have a few days left is powerful enough to help you in figuring out what you love the most and things you care about. If you only have a few days like some terminally ill patients are told, what would you do with those days?

Answering this question for yourself will help you in figuring out your true dreams and sources of joy. In this post, I have answered them for myself. Read, may be, and then make your own list. Once you have that list ready, go about creating the life where you can do those things regularly. That’s your list of what makes you truly happy.

Imagine a world where everyone is happy

Imagine a happy world
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Obviously, we would imagine that. This is the encyclopedia of happiness. We want to understand what a world would look like when everyone is happy. The assumption and the truth is that a large proportion of the world is not happy. Millions of people around the world do not have access to food, education, health benefits, internet and several other things which make human life happier.

These are the basics. We don’t even have the basics in place. Beyond the basics, we need to cultivate the set of attitudes which this blog talks about, that would drive the human society to happiness on a regular basis. We don’t have all of that right now.

This story imagines a Utopian world where everyone is happy. What would that world look like? How would the kids feel? How would the adults feel? How would things be different?

How to beat or cancel Monday blues?

Mondays are an important part of our work lives. It is the beginning of the work week. If we are not happy on Mondays, it basically means that we are not happy with our work lives. Unfortunately, that is the case for more than 80% of the world. People don’t enjoy their work and it is seen as a source of pain than a source of happiness and fulfillment.

As long as we keep looking at work as a source of pain, we will not find happiness. We need to transform our work lives in a way that it gives us joy and that we look forward to work. Until we reach a point where we feel joyful about work, and look forward to Mondays, our dreams of a happier world will never become a reality.

In this post, we look at how to look forward to Mondays and not fear them.

Should you quit your job to pursue your passion?  

Since we talk about passion a lot on this blog, it is important to answer questions related to passion. Given, that passion is one of the key sources of happiness. You can’t find your joy without being passionate about what you do.

However, once you have found your passion, should you quit your job to pursue it?

The answer is not a straight yes or no, but a yes and no. It depends on multiple factors including where you stand in life, stage, and how much money you have in the bank, among other things. In this post, we try and answer this question in a fair level of detail. It is one of the most difficult questions to answer by anyone and frankly, no one but you can answer this question for yourself. This post would serve as a guide in making a decision.

What is compatibility in relationships and why does it matter for happiness?

Why is compatibility important for relationships and happiness?
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Compatibility is a match between two individuals. It doesn’t only apply to personal life. It applied to professional life as well. However, more so, it does apply to personal life. Relationships are one of the biggest sources of our happiness. Compatibility with your partner plays a significant role in deciding whether the relationship would be a happy one or a painful one.

In this post, we look at the definition of compatibility and the role is plays in making relationships happier. The lack of compatibility makes relationships painful. As simple as that.

What is self-awareness and why is it important for happiness?

Self-awareness is at the root of happiness. Without self-awareness, we cannot attain inner happiness. However, there is a method to attaining self-awareness and a process we need to go through. It is a conscious effort to understand ourselves and what we are all about. Also, it is a journey and not a destination since we are continuously evolving as people.

In this post, we have looked at what self-awareness means and why it is so critical to finding true joy in life.

How to feel good about yourself?

Happiness is the most important thing about life and in order to attain happiness, we need to start with a certain level of feel-good about life. That sounds counter intuitive. How does an output become input? That’s by looking at life and realizing how fortunate we have been. A lot of people are addicted to misery and hence they do not allow themselves to be happy.

In order to give our best to what we are doing, we must be excited about it. We would be excited about it if we feel an inherent impulse from it which is installed in us by nature. Many people like stuff which other people don’t and vice versa. You would be excited about soccer if you love it, and your friend loves carom and you hate it. If you love soccer, playing soccer is one way to feel good about yourself that you get to do something you enjoy. Similarly, feeling grateful about you have rather than feeling remorseful about what you don’t is another way to feel good about yourself. Here, happiness is an input.

In this piece, we have looked at several ways to feel good about yourself. You need to feel good about yourself. That’s what spirit is, and in order to enjoy life, we need to be in high spirits. Thankfully, there are ways beyond alcohol to do that.

Human life is a marathon and not a race- an important realization for happiness

Life is a marathon, not a race
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If you have ever run a marathon, you would instinctively understand what this means. If you haven’t, this post is for you. Marathon running teaches us a lot about life. It teaches us that we cannot run beyond our pace and rhythm no matter what anyone else is doing.

We will be better than some people, we will be behind some people and that’s just how it is because that’s our level of preparation. Everyone performs to their level of preparation.

That negates the entire idea of relative competition and we realize that we can only perform to the level of our readiness and that truly we cannot compete with other people. We may learn from them, but we are not beating or trailing behind anyone. We are only competing against ourselves really. This is a huge realisation for happiness, since it will allow you to stop competing with others and focus on your own race.

How to live without regret

Regret consumes our happiness and saps out joy. There is a way to live without regret and that’s a process of realizing that we are evolving and have our own journeys. At any moment in time when we take a decision, we take it with the amount of knowledge, experience, wisdom we have at the point in time. We really couldn’t have taken a better decision. This posts talks about a set of attitudes to realize that we can actually live a life free to regret and be at peace when we are away from the chaos of life.

Read on if you feel regret takes away a lot of your happiness away, because you know, it does.

How to be happy at work

How to be happy at work. Happiness  at work is important for overall happiness
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Work happiness is the most important form of happiness there is. Our work defines who we are, helps our self-esteem and affects every part of our lives positively, if it is good. On the other hand, a terrible and painful work life affects every other part of our lives negatively.

How to be happy at work is a series of strategies that we can employ to make work life happier. This particular list is quite detailed and has 50 ways to be happy at work. There could be more and we are not yet done looking for more ways. If you are looking to make you work-life happier, we highly recommend you read this one.

How to deal with hard times

They say that life is a roller coaster and they are right. None of us can be happy all the time and we go down life’s roller coaster every now and then. Unlike an actual roller coaster, there are no warnings and we don’t know when we are going down, so we are mostly unprepared.

However, when we go down, we need to know how we will get up. We need to get up because we can’t stay down. We need to restart the journey to happiness. This post deals with strategies to deal with tough times and emerge like a fighter. Fighters fight- Rocky Balboa

How to find happiness in small things

How to find little joys in everyday life?
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Happiness is everywhere if we only look for it. Yes, we do need our dream to be fulfilled for finding bigger chunks of joy, if they were chunks, but that doesn’t mean we have to wait for forever to be happy in our everyday life or that we must fix the fundamentals even for traces of joy.

There is so much happiness to be had around us every day even beyond the fundamentals of relationships and work- there is sunshine, there are flowers, the greens and so many little joys of life that we forget to cherish.

Take the time to smell the flowers, they say. Who knows how many springs are we given?

Difference between solitude and loneliness

Difference between solitude and loneliness.
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Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. You could be alone and happy. That’s solitude. You could be alone and unhappy. That’s loneliness. Nobody wants to be lonely. However, all of us have a deep need for solitude. We don’t always have to have company and in fact, if we are to be happy and find ourselves, we need to make time to spend with ourselves.

This post is about the difference between solitude and loneliness.

How to avoid and prevent depression

Depression is a global disease and it affects the best of us. In the recent history, we have lost a lot of rich and successful people to happiness. Everyone is suddenly talking about the importance of mental health and why we should talk about it. That’s important but it is equally important to talk about if there are ways to prevent the onset of depression and get rid of it. Are there ways to think in a manner that one doesn’t get into the deep well of depression?

That is the objective of this particular post. Mental health is important not only in the context of cure, but also in the context of prevention.

Are entrepreneurs happy?

Entrepreneurs are a rare breed in the society and they will always be a rare breed. Irrespective of the press that entrepreneurship gets, it is extremely difficult to be entrepreneur and if so, it is even more difficult to be happy as an entrepreneur. Are entrepreneurs happy is a rhetorical question that seeks to understand what it takes to be an entrepreneur and if the process is a happy one.

If it’s not a happy outcome, or process, is it even worth pursuing. As you would know by now, I would not recommend anything that doesn’t create happiness in the process. Life is lived in the process, on the journeys. The destinations don’t last long.

Is entrepreneurship a worthy journey?

How would you like to be remembered?

This question is not really about death. It is about life. It is about the kind of life you would like to live so that people remember you in a certain way. What kind of life should that be that you leave a legacy that lives beyond your life? Those are the kind of questions that we have explored here and if you are interested in the quality of your life that leaves a legacy, you should consider reading this post.

Can we measure happiness?

How to measure happiness?
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If we can’t feel and measure happiness, then it’s pointless. It is stupid to say that happiness can’t be measured. Of course, it can be measured. It can be measured at your home, in your office and in your social circles.

We have looked at defining here a simple methodology to measure happiness and we should be measuring happiness starting now. If we don’t know how happy we are as people, how would we improve?

How to deal with failure?

We cannot achieve happiness without facing failure since failure is a part of the process of achieving our dreams. A lot of people do not even take a shot at their dreams because they are scared to fail. If we are scared to fail, we will not act and pursue what we truly value, and hence we will not find our happiness.

We try and understand here what failure means and how to look at it positively. Only when we look at failure as a positive and constructive part of the process, we will be able to deal with it.

Is Bhutan happy?

What makes Bhutan happy?
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The kingdom nation of Bhutan is famous all over the world for its policy of calculating Gross National Happiness over Gross Domestic Product as a measure of nation’s well being. However, it has consistently not performed well on the World Happiness ranking instituted by the United Nations early this decade.

Is Bhutan happy, and if it is, what can we learn from the island nation about happiness?

Well, this is what we have for you on the encyclopedia of happiness, so far. However, like this blog, this post is a work in progress. There are other posts on this blog beyond this encyclopedia but these are the most significant ones. Going forward, we will update this post on happiness encyclopedia with more insights on how to live a happy life, which is the purpose of this blog. Frankly, that seems to be the purpose of my life as well-to make the world an inspired and happier place.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani                                               

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Think of a world where everyone is happy

Welcome to the happiness blog. In case you are visiting for the first time, please do not forget to follow. Each post on this blog has a single objective- to make your everyday life happier.

Imagine a world where everyone is happy. Is such a world possible or is it utopia which cannot be reached? Is it a chimerical objective?

Well, maybe it is. But, what stops us from dreaming?

Nothing.

So, let us dream about it-a world where everyone is happy. What would it take for a world where everyone is happy?

1. A happy childhood and adolescence

A happy childhood is essential for a happier world
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We like it or not, a lot of our thinking systems depend on our childhood. Most of us, besides a few become the kind of people we are taught to be in our schools, and in our homes while we are kids.

Our home environments, schools and colleges have a tremendous impact on the quality of our adult lives.

How do we do this?

Let us start with home environments. Parents need to talk to their kids. Kids are not puppets. If you want to have puppets, have puppets. Don’t have kids. Parents cannot be imposing their unfulfilled dreams on their kids. Kids are separate human beings with a system, talents and motivations of their own.

Parents need to talk to kids about them, about what the kids want. Parents need to be conscious of what it means to be happy. I mean, if you don’t know of happiness yourself, how would you help your kids find it?

There is so much pressure on the school and college life. In India alone, so many kids commit suicide in schools and colleges. There is a major lack of communication at every level, especially with the parents. If children cannot talk to their parents about their problems, there is no possibility of a happy childhood. The only way kids would talk to their parents is when they see trustworthy friends in them, who would listen to understand and help them.

Besides the home environment, the school and the college environment needs to be attuned to happiness. I don’t know if it is now. I got out of school in 1999. It wasn’t then. What does that mean? That means that it should be okay not to do well in all subjects and to do well in subjects where the kid is talented. Each child should be an individual concoction and not a rat in a rat race which he/she is scheduled to join once they are out of the education system.

Life is not meant to be a rat race. Unfortunately, it has become that.

2. A happy adulthood

Now, adulthood is majority of our lives starting 20’s. Let us say for the purpose of discussion here that your childhood and adolescence were fucked up and so point number 1 doesn’t apply to your life. You are an adult now and you have no idea what happiness is all about.

How to make adulthood happier?
Photo by Imam Motret on Pexels.com

What do we do now?

To start with, get conscious about happiness. You are missing out on the most important emotion of life. If you didn’t think about happiness through your childhood and adolescence because you did not have the right guidance, you are at the right place. I have made almost all mistakes a man can make on the journey to happiness.

So, you are an adult, and most likely, your education was a pain. You studied what was popular and found no joy in studies because you didn’t study what you may have enjoyed. You did not know why you should choose a particular set of subjects besides that everybody was doing so.

Where to start now?

Start figuring out now. You need to begin by listening to yourself and your emotions. Be brutally honest with yourself?

Do you feel miserable? If the answer is yes, tell yourself so.

Do you feel life is routine, boring and colorless? Tell yourself so.

Now that we have identified a problem, we need to go about figuring out how to fix it.

Admitting there is a problem of lack of joy is important because most people don’t do so. They are fine living a pretense because that’s what the larger society is doing-living a pretense.

Now that you have admitted that there is no joy, figure out for the first time in your life what brings you joy.

I know of guys who studied engineering for 6 years of their lives after the generic subjects were over and now they are writers or stand-up comedians or businessmen. They figured out, like you need to.

It will be a process. The first step to try and figure out what brings you happiness. What turns you on?

You may need to do a bunch of experiments and let go of certain things in the process. You may need to postpone your life by society’s standards a bit. But, if your happiness is important for you, you will do it.

I will be honest. It is fucking tough. The later you start in life on the search for your happiness, the more difficult it is. Your family, who had no clue about happiness through their own lives, will wonder what is wrong with you, and why you are suddenly behaving weird. Your friends will desert you and you may find yourself alone on your journey.

Well, so be it.

Either you will find your happiness or you won’t. If you decide to do it, you may need to stand and fight a lot of people who have never had the guts to go and find their happiness. Misery loves company and hates to see people leave the gang.

If you are up for it, go for it.

With whatever you are doing now, start dabbling in new stuff that you see yourself naturally drawn towards. Naturally is important, because you want to do something that comes naturally to you. That means you enjoy it, when you do it. You experience a new feeling that you haven’t felt all your life- joy!

You feel joy and you can’t stop yourself from doing that thing again and again. You want to make the time to do it. You find a way to do it more and more so you improve on it and hopefully, someday do it full time. Hell, you would pay for it if you had to.

When you do it and make a living off it, you will have realized happiness, professionally.

Once you have found happiness on one level of your level and you understand that love and passion are sources of happiness, you will go about to find it in other areas of life too- personal and social.

To summarize, what does the world need to be a happier place:

  • Education for everyone so that we can all think for ourselves and figure out what puts us on fire
  • A supportive family environment which understands and aids our core need for happiness
  • Passionate work that doesn’t feel like work

This looks quite difficult as I write it, since a large percentage of the human population doesn’t have access to high quality education, especially in poor countries like India. That’s a prerequisite for personal growth and happiness. There is a long way to go before we achieve 100% literacy. Hopefully, the access to internet will solve that problem to some extent in the coming few decades.

However, developed countries, where literacy is not an issue, can work on the vision for a world where everyone is happy. The great thing about happy people is that they want to see others happy as well. Happy people know that they can only be happy by making others happier.

The more happy people are there in the world, happiness will grow in geometric progression. Unfortunately, that’s not the case right now in spite of so much technological advancement that the human society has gone thorough.

One day, hopefully. I don’t know if that day is possible, but we can certainly hope for it.

Like the great movie, Shawshank Redemption said, “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” 

Imagine a world where everyone is happy

I hope of a world where everyone is happy. Do you?

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

If you found this post valuable, you may also like reading the one below:

https://amarvani.blog/2020/10/15/what-is-happiness/

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What is happiness?

Welcome to the happiness blog. In case you are visiting for the first time, please do not forget to follow. Each post on this blog has a single objective- to make your everyday life happier.

I was thinking about what aspect to write about this morning on the happiness blog and then I realized, that we haven’t yet answered the fundamental question on which this blog is based.

Let us correct that mistake.

There is a reason we are writing this blog, and trying to make it the go-to resource for happiness on the internet. Happiness is important. It is extremely important. No, it is the most important thing about life.

Like I started writing my book happiness in your skin with, I will start this post by quoting Aristotle.

“HAPPINESS IS THE MEANING AND THE PURPOSE OF LIFE, THE WHOLE AIM AND END OF HUMAN EXISTENCE”

It is the purpose of life. Yeah, fine. But, what on earth it is?

What is happiness?

Happiness is the highest ideal of human existence. It is the purpose of human life. Happiness is the emotion that makes us believe that life is worth living and fighting for.

Now, you may argue that you have a different definition of happiness. You don’t relate to what is written here and that’s fine. We are fine with that as long as you have a definition of what happiness means to you.

This blog wants you to be happy. The purpose here is to make you aware of your need and desire for happiness and nudge you in that direction.

One of the greatest tragedies of human life is that almost all of us, besides a few exceptions, come into this world searching for happiness. All of us, as kids, instinctively want to do what makes us happy.

Look at and observe small children. They do what makes them happy. It could be playing with crayons, or building small castles of their own, or just licking chocolate sitting on the floor. They do what makes them happy without a care in the world.

Kids are happy by nature
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

They keep doing what makes them happy until someone tells them they can’t just keep doing that. Our society isn’t built on the premise of happiness. People don’t like to see others happy. They think there is something wrong with people smiling and laughing naturally. You are supposed to have a bunch of things to show off before you can earn your right to be happy.

So, kids are told by parents to get serious about life, which basically means stop doing things that make them happy. The school system is designed in a way that we are expected to compete with other students. Now, because most kids are not good at all subjects, they struggle with this competition. Nobody tells them to excel at the subjects they are good at, and just let the others be. They can just obtain passing marks in the other subjects. But nobody tells them that. They are pushed to work hard on everything and slowly, they begin to lose their confidence and the feeling of joy.

They become unhappy. They begin to lose interest in life because they are forced to compete with the Joneses and not focus on their own strengths and interests. This pattern continues to college and to work life.

By the time children become adults and join the workforce, they have been habituated to the idea that life is competition and the only way to find some happiness in life is by outcompeting the others.

That’s where we are as a society. An unhappy, sad group of people who are trying to outcompete everyone else and making ourselves unhappier in the process.

We need to fix this, starting now and that’s what I am trying to do with this blog. I am trying to fix the problem of happiness for the human race. However, I can’t do this for you. I can only help you to find happiness within yourself.

How do we do this?

We need to start afresh. We need to start with kids and make them happy. We need to ensure that they are happy and they are not looking dull. We should all be ashamed of a society where children start looking dull and unhappy. What the fuck went wrong?

They came into this world, and we did something to them, and they became unhappy. Why we are not horrified?

Start with them. Talk to them. Ask them what makes them happy. Observe the things that they do naturally that make them happy. We need to let them do more of them and organize their lives in a way that they can do those.

We need to tell kids that it is okay not to do well on all subjects in school. When we look at their report cards, we need to insist that they should focus on subjects they are enjoying working on, and get passing marks in the other subjects. That’s how they should go about school, and college. That’s how we can build a happy childhood.

We also need to make these interventions with adults. Just because you started on a road to unhappiness and misery, doesn’t mean you need to stay on that road for the rest of your life. No matter what your state of life is, you need to cancel everything and come back to the roundabout where you can restart.

Evaluate your life and rethink. Think about the things you were good at as a kids and the subjects you enjoyed. Think about the moments where you were naturally yourself. You need to pick new careers, and restart. You could be 40 or 50. What the fuck! Why are we told to continue on our paths to misery when we know we know that we are going to die soon or we could die anytime?

Why?

You know you are living a hell of a life and if you continue to do so, you will die having lived a hell of a life.

Why?

Let us say you were given 100 days to live and you have lived 40 in misery. Wouldn’t you want to live the rest of 60 doing things that make you happy when you have realized your mistakes and that you didn’t know better?

I know. It gets difficult. With family responsibilities and bills to pay, it is not easy. However, you will need to figure out how you would do it, for your own sake. Even if you find no support within your own people and society. You must do it for yourself.

You will need to find out what makes you happy and what happiness means to you. You will need to find out what puts you on fire and springs up your feet. You will want to dance again.

Cheers-to your happiness.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

If you liked reading this post, you may also enjoy the one below:

https://amarvani.blog/2020/10/14/can-we-measure-happiness/

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50 ways to be happy :) at work

Welcome to the happiness blog. In case you are visiting for the first time, please do not forget to follow. Each post on this blog has a single objective- to make your everyday life happier.

Like the title days, in this post we intend to look at an important part of your life-your work.

How do we find more happiness at work, than we currently do?

Let us look at what we can do on an everyday basis. Since this post is not specific to a particular industry or workplace, you will find some points which may relate to you, and a few that may relate to other workplaces. The objective of this post is to serve as a thought starter on happy work lives.

1. Define what work means to you

Give work a good name. Why do we work? We work to make a positive impact on the world using the skills we have. We are either working for our clients in case of a business to business setup and for our customers in case of a business to customer setup. The objectives is to make their lives better through our products and services.

Work is a good thing. It’s not drab it is made out to be. Work is not meant to be pain. We are collectively responsible for what we have made of our work lives. Starting from our school, to our college, we never looked at work/study as fun and that attitude moved to our offices.

Repeat. Work is a good thing.

2. Find work you would enjoy doing

This is the most important point if you were to be really happy at work. Your relationship with work is more important than your relationship with your colleagues, with your manager, with everyone at work. If you have a positive relationship with your work, you will find happiness in it.

Pay attention to how you feel when you work. Does it excite you? Do you want to get back to it when you are away from it? If the answer to these questions is yes, you have a positive relationship with work.

3. Build relationships with your colleagues

Nah, I don’t mean personal relationships. Build healthy work relationships with your colleagues. The most important thing to understand about your colleagues is that they are people with emotions, and have human problems like you have. They are not machines and furniture lacking emotions.

If you treat them like human beings, there is a high likelihood that they will reciprocate.

4. Do the most important task of the day early

Brian Tracy calls it ‘Eat that Frog.’ Do the most important task first and ways you are sure to be productive for the rest of the day. Let’s assume there are pressures that build up later in the day and you have to postpone some other tasks, you will have finished the most important task still.

We feel happy when we feel productive.

5. Make a plan

The old adage goes-if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Please ensure that you have a checklist of the things that you want to achieve during the day, week, and month. Plan for contingencies so that if life turns about and you can’t stick to your plan, there is room for maneuvering.

Build in some flexibility.

6. Take breaks

I remember when I used to work full time as an employee, I used to have a check list on my desk. One of the items on the list was to remind me to take a break after an hour or two of intense work. If you feel you have longer sittings, make a plan accordingly.

A sedentary lifestyle could be harmful for your overall well being and happiness.

7. Choose worthy company and colleagues

Try to work with people who are better than you and can teach you something. You could work with people you consider dumb but that won’t make you a better person or a professional.

So, when you look for a new job, ask yourself, if you would like to work with the person who is interviewing you. It will help in the long term to make your days worthwhile.

Ideally, work with people you would admire.

8. Choose a chair which allows you to sit with a straight back

Don’t slouch. Sit with your back straight. When you sit straight, you are more focused and active than when you are slouching. Also, a chair that allows for a straight back, is good for your back.

9. Make friends with the IT and finance department colleagues

Even if they have a stuff upper lip, you need them. Jokes apart, if you are a product or a marketing or a sales guy, you will need to depend on your IT or finance colleague. The IT guys are in charge of the hardware and software you use and the finance guy credits your salary every month.  

It will help your state of happiness@work if you are on good terms with them.

If you work in IT or finance, you can ignore this point.

10. Reach office on time and leave on time

There is no pride in staying in office till 10 p.m. I remember I worked in one company and one day, my day stretched to 10 pm or beyond. I shared that with a colleague, who told me that’s normal in the company. I didn’t last quite long in that company.

I mean, there is no pride in not having a social or a personal life. If you don’t respect other parts of your life, nobody at your office will.

Reach early, finish your work, and move on with the rest of the day. We need a balance between different parts of our lives if we are to be happy with each.

If our work life intrudes into our personal/social lives and leaves no time for anything else, there is no way it is a healthy schedule and will not last long.

11. Do not ‘reply all’ unless needed

Be careful about emails which have multiple recipients. Try to avoid replying all unless it is warranted. A lot of time is wasted when you are getting emails where you have nothing to contribute. The same is true for others.

12. Schedule email time

In fact, answering emails is not the job, unless that’s your job. Emails are meant for internal and external communication and hence you can look at your email every 30 minutes or so. Unless there is a pressing email, reply when you have finished the tasks which are accounted in your daily productivity.

13. Schedule important meetings in 1st half

You are more energetic in the first half of the day when you are starting your day. The mind tends to get fatigued after a few hours of activity and by evening, you feel exhausted. So, schedule the important meetings where you need to take strategic decisions in the first half.

There may be exceptions to the rule, but they don’t defy the rule.

14. Watch what you eat

Keep it light. A bloated body makes for a bloated mind. Your level of physical fitness affects your mental fitness. The mind and body are connected and if you keep one light, the other will stay more agile too

15. Exercise once a day

Schedule your day in a manner that you have time for some exercise. Exercising is one of the most important ways to keep your mind and body in a state of peak performance.

You may need your own schedule but even if you exercise a few (read 5-6) times a week, that should keep you in good shape.

16. Seek out ways to break monotony

One of the reasons people find their work lives boring is because they keep doing the same piece of work day after day, month after month, and year after year.

If you think that there is monotony that’s set in your work, speak to your manager and see if you can do another piece of work. 

If you are an entrepreneur, this shouldn’t be a problem because you got into entrepreneurship to make your work life interesting. However, if you feel you are spending too much time on clerical work, seek out help and see if you can delegate it.

17. Keep learning new things

If you work in a large organisation, there are always training opportunities available. Speak to your HR or with your manager and see if you can opt for some.

If you are an entrepreneur, keep looking at changes in your industry, and how you can evolve to stay relevant in the market. Times like COVID are black swan events which force us to understand what is working, and what has stopped working. Our ability to learn and adapt is key for survival in the fast paced world we live in.

18. Solicit feedback

To start with, feedback is a good thing. But, do not give unsolicited advice, unless you are appraising someone, which is institutionalised advice.  

If you are passionate about your work, solicit advice about how you should improve. It will help you find useful pointers on where you may be lacking and need improvement.

If you are not passionate about your work, please try to find something more interesting, which leads me to the next point.

19. Stop wasting your work life on weaknesses

Hey, this is 2020! Please stop working on your weaknesses. I don’t understand people asking others to improve their weaknesses. If you suck at dancing, and do not enjoy dancing, no matter how hard you try, at most you will become an average dancer.

Start working on things you are naturally good at.

If you are good at writing presentations, seek out that piece of work, and make presentations that charm your clients.

If you are good at excel, take up the number crunching work and enthral your team and management with useful data about your business and market.

If you are good at public speaking, take up a training/marketing profile where you can spend more time on stage.

For managers and organisations, it helps that people work on their strengths. It is a waste of company’s time to have people work on their weaknesses.

In fact, people should be hired to do what they are good at.

20. Help your boss

Your boss is also a human being, with a certain set of responsibilities. Try to see how you can help your boss achieve their goals and there is no reason they would not be happy with you.

If your boss is happy with you, you will find your office a much interesting place.

21. Do not flatter

Flattery is a curse, for both parties involved. People who flatter have low confidence because they believe that they cannot impress their seniors with their work and hence they need to resort to false praise.

People who enjoy flattery have a terrible sense of self-esteem.

It is easy to see the difference between genuine praise and flattery. People who flatter may grow professionally, but nobody really respects them, including themselves.

22. Respect is a two way street

If you want to be respected, respect others at your work. Schedule meetings. Don’t just show up at any time. Promptly reply to important emails. If someone helps you out beyond their call of work, show gratitude. I read somewhere that gratitude is a learned skill and hence don’t expect it from everyone.

Repeat. Respect is a two way street.

23. Work is the source of meaning in life

Respect your work, once you have chosen it. Whatever it is that you do, take care that you do a good job at it. Before anyone appraises your work, you are the first person you are answerable to.

If you need to find meaning in your life, do work that you find meaningful. It will save you from boredom, monotony and procrastination.

24. Create a positive work environment

Remember, that given professional decorum, nobody has stopped you from laughing and just having a good time at work.

If everyone is tense, try to lighten up the atmosphere with a joke or a story. Be known as someone who carries joy wherever they go. If you are a positive person, you will attract a lot of people wanting to associate with you.

25. Lead whenever you see an opportunity

Whenever you see an opportunity to contribute to the success of your team and you see a new opportunity, jump on it. A lot of opportunities go to people who ask for them. If you are a lazy duck and keep waiting for things to come to you, you may end up waiting for a long time.

26. Limit social media at work

Unless your job is to handle social media for your company, limit your time on social media. LinkedIn is a good platform to talk about your work. But, avoid the other platforms when you are doing serious, important work.

When I write long posts like these, I usually allow myself only a few more sites which relate to the post or Dictionary.

27. Create a social life at work

Work takes a lot of our time and sometimes, it does get difficult to make friends beyond work or meet them. It is always great to have a few friends at work with whom you can discuss both your professional and personal lives. You can always hang out and party with them.

happy colleagues
Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

Having friends at work is a great way to create a happy work life.

28. Avoid indulging in office politics

Avoid negativity and political groups in the office. It’s an office, not the parliament. More importantly, if you waste your time criticizing people behind their back, the word will get around and it will do you harm for no perceived benefits.

29. Grow and help other grow

Do not pull others down. If you do that, office becomes a crab hole instead of a productive environment where everyone is pulling everyone down. Work hard to grow yourself and help others grow as well. That’s how you build relationships.

30. Spend time understanding yourself

I have evolved as a person and a worker in the years since I have not been working full time. If I go back to a full time job, I will be a more conscious and aware contributor. I have understood myself more in the last 5 years than in my entire lifetime.

Take time to understand yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. Then double down on your strengths and find someone to take care of your weaknesses.

31. Write full sentences in emails

Bad writing and messaging language in professional emails is not cool. Irrespective of where the email is headed, frame proper sentences and convey the message.

A poorly framed email shows lack of respect for the recipient.

32. Ask questions when an opportunity presents itself

Most companies have open hall sessions where you can talk to the leadership and ask questions. Make sure you use those opportunities and ask about the future of the company and where it intends to exert effort.

33. Be interested in the company’s business

Ideally, you should not work for a set-up whose business doesn’t excite you. Only if you are interested in the business, you would be able to give it your best.

For example, if you are not a smoker, do not work with Philip Morris International. It doesn’t make sense. You may be required to smoke during business meetings because ideally it makes sense that everybody smokes at the company.

34. Be aligned with mission and vision

Mission is the reason the company exists. Vision is a goal for a foreseeable future and there can be multiple visions for multiple departments.

Be aligned with the mission of the company and then see how you can contribute to that mission. Be in line with the vision of the company, your department, and your team.

Again, you will care about these variables if you care about the business.

35. When working from home, organise

2020 has forced a lot of businesses to have their employees work from home and it will be a trend that will continue in the future. Organize a desk for yourself in a room where you can work peacefully. Try and ensure that there is little disturbance in your work.

36. Do not eat alone

When you go for lunch, don’t go alone. Lunches are opportunities to build friendships. Do not waste the opportunity. I did the mistake in my corporate career and would go when I wanted. It needs a bit of coordination to find company, which is worthwhile.

37. Stay on the top of your goals

Stay on the top of your annual goals and if you feel that the goal sheet needs a change, speak to your manager, and have it done. Do not wait for mid-year or annual appraisals to have important conversations. By then, the opportunity may be lost.

38. If you hate your job, ignore most of this article

This post will not pretend unlike a lot of pieces on the internet that you can have a happy work-life somehow even if you hate your job. If you hate your job, you need to find another job, either within the organisation or outside. You may hate your job because of the work content, or because of your manager.

Frustrated employee
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

If you hate your job because of the work content, then you need to see where else can you apply your skills.

If your hate your job because of your boss, see if you can figure out a solution within the company by talking to the HR or a senior leader. You can move to a different team. Do whatever it takes to find a solution.

You cannot have a happy life at work if you hate your job.

39.  Manage work stress

When you feel overwhelmed, take a walk. Head out to the recreation room if there is one at your work place and play a game. Take your eyes off the screen and indulge in long breathing. Stretch your facial muscles. Listen to calming music.

Do a few of the above or all of them at different intervals. Remember, stress can be handled. When you are in a difficult situation, imagine the worst possible outcome, accept it mentally and move on.

We have the ability to handle anything if we are brave enough. No amount of success is worth your health.

40. Learn from leaders

The internet is full of inspiration. When you feel lost, learn from leaders. If there is someone who inspires you at work, go and talk to them. Or else, get on the internet and learn about how they work and what they do.

Read stories of great entrepreneurs, be it autobiographies or biographies. There are lot of work related lessons in the stories of people who have achieved a lot in their lifetime. I recently finished reaching the ‘Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight,’ the founder of Nike. I would highly recommend the book. It has a lot of lessons about courage and determination to succeed. It is also a story about how to approach work as fun.

41. Make time for solitude at work

I have emphasized the importance of friendships at work. At the same time, do make time for a 10 minute solitary walk when things get messy. Talking to yourself helps sort out a lot of problems in your mind. Solitude is a highly underrated activity.

42. Make a plan

Have a plan in mind for your progression at work. The plan may include your current employer or may not. You want to see yourself grow and you will need a plan. If the job is important to you, you need to have some idea about what you see yourself doing in a few years.

Start doing those things.

43. Marry work with passion

Passion is love multiplied by infinity. Passion makes work look interesting. If you are a student reading this, apply to jobs where you love the industry and would love to contribute in growing the company. Unfortunately, the thinking about passion only exists in the artist and entrepreneur worlds right now.

It is important to introduce passion in the larger employee work cultures if workplaces of the future are to be happier.

44. Write down a purpose statement that defines your work

Companies have purposes and mission statements. As a worker, be it an entrepreneur or an employee, it will really help if you have a purpose statement.

For example, if you are a marketing professional selling automobiles, you could write a purpose statement for yourself like the below:

‘My purpose is to introduce the automobile consumer to the finest technology in automobiles at an affordable price.’

This is imperfectly written, but you can refine it. Write one for yourself. It will introduce a lot of meaning in your work.

45. Dissociate from the crib team

Every workplace has a set of people who are always talking negative about work, leadership, culture among other things. Do not be a part of the crib team. The crib team adds no value to your professional goals and adds a lot of negativity to your days.

46. Read annual reports

A company annual reports are one of the most important sources of information about the business, its mission, vision and the future.

Make time to read the annual reports. You wouldn’t if the business doesn’t have any significance to your goals, as mentioned in point 33. So, that’s the starting point.

47. Get to know the leadership

Whenever you have the opportunity to interact with the leadership and share any feedback, take up the opportunities. Good leadership appreciates positive and constructive feedback.

Companies should create opportunities to orient the staff to the leadership in order to create interaction opportunities.

48. Evaluate your day at the end of the day

At the end of the day evaluate how you performed vs. the goals that you had in the beginning of the day. If you did well, you will feel happy about yourself. At this point, you can also plan the next working day.

It helps to stay on top of your schedule.

49. Do not take work home

If you aren’t working from home which most of us are right now, keep a distance between your personal and work life. Do not mix the two. Personal life is as important as work life. If one intrudes into the other, both suffer.

50. Realize that work is more than 50% of your life

When you come to the realization that your work life is more than half of your waking hours, you will not compromise with you. If you like your work, your colleagues and your company, you will add so much joy to your life while you look for ways to add value to the company.

Like in other parts of life, the best strategy for a happy work life is a win-win. Organizations win, when their employees are happy. Employees win, when they can make positive contributions to their organizations.

I spent a lot of effort in writing this detailed post, which to my mind, is one of the most detailed posts on happier work lives on the subject. I hope it adds value to your work life, and you can find some pointers to be happier at work.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

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41 ways to deal with hard times in your life

Hi, thanks for coming over to the happiness blog. The fact that you clicked on this post is testament to the fact that you are somebody worthy who looks for solutions to their problems.

My objective with this post to help you find ways to deal with what you may be going through. So, please read the post completely and hopefully, at some point, you will find hope.

I woke up feeling quite groggy this morning and had some negative thoughts running in my mind. The year 2020 has been one of the toughest years in the history of the world and all of us are dealing with it in our own ways.

I am not a guru here. I am your friend trying to figure out how to deal with the difficulty of the times we face, especially at an emotional level.

So, what can we do to deal with tough times in our lives? The below follows a set of thoughts that may help you go through the difficult times you face.

1. You are way tougher than you think you are

If life is tough, you can be tougher. Do not let it break you. Work hard on your body. Work hard on your mind. There is nothing you can’t take. Our ability to bear physical and emotional pain is immense and we can go through it, if we believe we can.

The great Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison at one go. He had spent time in prison eve earlier in his life at multiple intervals, but he was 44 when he was imprisoned for a sustained duration of time and he was 71 when he walked out. He lived to see the end of apartheid.

Nick Vujicic was born without limbs and he has inspired people around the world with his work. Just google him and listen to him talking. Watch his standing up without any support. The man is a legend.

Nick Vijicic born limbless and smiling
Google Images

Helen Keller was 19 months old when she contracted a fever that left her blind, deaf and mute. She lived the rest of her life without three of her senses. Her life story will always be an inspiration for generations to come.

So, what did you say your problems were?

2. Your problems are temporary

In quite likelihood, unlike the examples cited above, your problems are temporary. COVID will eventually go away or a cure will be found. Your business that has been crushed by the virus will emerge again. If it doesn’t, you can find something else to do.

If your partner has left you, you can find another partner. You don’t even have to find another partner. You can live by yourself.

Your problems are temporary and they will either die or they will mutate into something else. Change is the law of nature and nothing stays like it is.

Please have patience.

3. Comparison will only bring you pain

In good times or bad, if you continue to compare your life with others, it will only bring you pain. Just think about it. Nature doesn’t design lives similarly. Even identical twins do not have similar fingerprints.

Nature intended your life to be different than those of your school, college, office, neighborhood, industry and whoever the fuck you compare your life to.

Your life is different and it was meant to be different. Also, you have no idea about their life and just because you assume they are happier than you, doesn’t mean they are. May be they are, and there is nothing you do can do about it.

You can only focus on the state of your life, and see where you can find some happiness. Stop focusing on the grass on the other side. The grass on your side is getting stale because you are not giving it any attention.

4. Count your blessings

Think about it. What did Helen Keller have to be grateful about? Most of you have all five of your senses working. She had only touch and taste working. Would you give away three of your senses for a million dollars? If you will, this post shouldn’t mean anything for you.

Count your blessings. Be happy with what you have. One of the greatest tragedies of the human existence is losing the happiness it has for what it doesn’t have.

 5. When times change, you need to change as well

At one point in time, Nokia was a great mobile phone company. Then, however, technology changed and Nokia failed to catch up. It is one of the classic corporate tales of recent history. Google bought Android, Apple launched the iPhone and the industry wasn’t the same again. Nokia lost because it didn’t change.

Similarly, in our lives, we need to accept what’s changed for good. The virus has forced a lot of businesses to either pivot or go down. The pivot is towards an online world where physical gatherings can be avoided. This will go on till the virus is active and there is no way we can escape this reality, we like it or not.

6. Build your positive thinking muscles

I believe that thinking positive doesn’t just come by itself. It’s a habit that needs to be learned and nurtured.

I always cite the metaphor of a profit and loss statement. If you consider the fact that life is profit since you didn’t earn it, and it was rather a profitable grant from nature, than no matter what happens in your life, there won’t be a net loss on the profit and loss statement of your life.

There may be losses like financial failures, career setbacks, emotional setbacks, but you also have your education, food, family and countless days where there has been no calamity of sorts.

Negative thinking is a habit that drains you.

Positive thinking is a habit that allows you to stay afloat in the toughest of circumstances.

7. Keep reminding yourself that you have been amazing

When we face difficult times, one of the things that gets hurt is self-esteem. You can’t let your self-esteem get hurt no matter what happens. Your self-esteem breaks-you break.

Just look at your life and keep reminding yourself that there were moments where you amazing. There were moments where people believed in you and you stood up to it.

Our life is a movie in our minds and it is up to us how we play it.

8. Read/watch the stories of outstanding people

Our mind needs references. It gets easier to do something when we see that somebody has done it before us. Before Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile barrier, everybody believed it couldn’t be done.

Find inspiration. It’s all over the place. There are people who have led far tougher lives than yours, and emerged as winners. Read about them and may be in the process, you will be inspired to deal with your problems too.

9. Exercise everyday

I have said this over and over and will continue to say it. Exercise makes the blood in your body move. It doesn’t even need a lot of investment to exercise. If you can’t go to the gym, like right now, go and run. In fact, I wrote a post about having a great workout, which may help.   

10. Meditate

The way I look at exercise, I mean physical exercise. Our physical structure is made up of our mind and our body. We just don’t see the mind. It just is evident because it works. If I didn’t have a mind, I couldn’t be writing this post.

However, the mind is a noisy place and it needs poise and calm once in a while. Ideally, a few minutes a day is good when done consciously.

I would recommend it right after a strenuous physical workout. Your body is warm and active. Sit down in a quiet place and breathe. Watch your thoughts and let them flow. Observe your breathing and do not try to interrupt your thoughts.

A girl meditating for peace
Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com

By the end of a few minutes of meditation, your mind will feel lighter and sharper. Exercising and meditation are complimentary. I do feel that anyone who exercises and meditates on a regular (read daily) basis will let adversity pull them down for a sustained period.

11. Avoid negative people

You are already having a tough time dealing with whatever life has thrown at you, and if you waste your time dealing with negative people, it will exhaust you further emotionally.

A woman screaming
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Avoid negative people. If you have a few inside your house, do not pay attention to anything they say. They may be frustrated themselves and letting out their frustration on you.

Do whatever it takes to keep your mind in the green zone.

12. Learn to let go of control

One of the things that bothers us tremendously as human beings is the desire to have complete control over our lives. Then, life throws completely unpredictable challenges at us, and we have no idea how to deal with them.

No matter how hard you try, nature is way more powerful than you are. If you let go of your intense desire to control your life, you may do yourself a favor.

Acceptance is a highly underrated word.

13. Change the perspective

Think about it. What stops you from changing the perspective of any situation you face? There is nothing stopping you from looking at a negative situation and alter the paradigm.

The year 2020 and the virus has forced people to stay at home. The stresses of the corporate life and busyness hadn’t allowed thousands of people to spend time at home and be there with their family.

Take it as an opportunity for personal time which will never come back.

If you have lost your job and you had a keen desire to reorient your career, this is the opportunity to do so. Take the time to learn new about new technologies, alternative careers, starting a blog like this one.

Do something that you have yearned to do for years but haven’t had the time to do it. Just because everyone is crying, doesn’t mean that everyone has to cry. We are not sheep.

14.  Keep yourself intellectually occupied

Whatever you do, keep your mind occupied. It is rightly said that an empty mind is a devil’s paradise. If you let your mind be idle, you will most likely run into negative thinking and self-destructive behavior, which will affect your present and future prospects of happiness.

Keep yourself creatively busy.

15. Keep looking for ideas and solutions

Keep working and looking for solutions. If you look for solutions to whatever problems you face, you will stay in the active mode and not the passive mode. There are always solutions out there, and we need to find them.

In most likelihood, someone has already done what you are trying to do. You just need to find a way and implement in your life. Just keep looking, till you find a way.

16. Seek help

Look for help when you need it. It doesn’t hurt your ego. A lot of people don’t look for help because they think it will make them smaller. Ask for help from people who know something that you don’t. If there is a skill that you need to learn, ask someone who knows. Somebody may help you out of your current situation, and you will be glad that you asked.

17. Cry

Hey, you and I are humans. We are tough, yes. But, we also have emotions. Sometimes, it is a good idea to let our emotions take over us and cry, if there is pain.

A 15.7 minutes session of crying out aloud makes the heart lighter. You feel that you have acknowledged your pain and you are not lying to yourself anymore.

An old man crying
Photo by omar alnahi on Pexels.com

It is okay to cry if you are a man. I am a man. I cry whenever I want to. It doesn’t make me a lesser man. It does make me more human though.

Why should girls have all the tears?

18. You are not your adversity

Keep reminding yourself that you are not your adversity. You took certain decisions in your past, expecting joy, but things turned out otherwise. You cannot foresee the future when you are taking a decision. You can only adapt to life’s changing situations.

If you have confidence over your abilities to deal with your adversity, nothing can totally break you.

19. Life is a rollercoaster

Life is meant to be a rollercoaster. It goes up and it goes down. Some people stay high up in the air longer, and some people have a longer say at the bottom. But, all of us go up and down. That is the nature of life. When you down, know that you will go up. However, it depends a lot on your mind-set. Some of us need to work way harder to go up than the rest of us. It just is the way it is.

20. Laugh

Imagine you are in a hole. You are trying feverishly to get out of the hole. However, you could cry in the hole or you could laugh for a minute at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

A girl laughing
Photo by Caio Cardenas on Pexels.com

Laughter doesn’t change things. But, it does add a bit of spice to life, even in extremely difficult situations. When you hear yourself laughing, you are reminded that you love life, and it is worth fighting for.

Watch stand-up comedy. It is a brilliant art form. I am also a comedian in other times. Here is a piece I wrote about it sometime back.

21. Stop thinking about your problems. Think about others

It helps to stop thinking about your problems and think about how you can help others. That’s how this blog started. That’s how most start-ups start. Think about what problems you can solve for a large number of people

I am writing this post because I think this concerns the life of millions of people around the world and reading this may give up hope, and courage.

22. Hope that things will get better

Here is the thing about hope. We do not know if what we hope for will come true. But, when we hope that things will be better than they are, our body and mind reacts positively.

Women, especially elder women have this tendency to say, ‘everything will be alright.’ Sometimes, I do not know where they get the source from. But, I do not ask them.

If they are saying everything will be alright, everything should be alright. You may like poem I wrote about hope.

23. Don’t let emotional breakdowns break you

It is okay, if you break down, once in a while. It is okay if you end up having a few days where you could do nothing. Accept it, and don’t feel guilty about it. Guilt is more harmful than tears.

24. Release the stress

If the stress gets overpowering, go into a quiet room, and scream the hell out. Stress that builds up over a period of time could severely affect your mental state and it needs to be let out. Find a way to let it out and then release.

25. Talk to a friend or a family member you trust

Men and women have different ways to dealing with tough times. Men tend to draw themselves to a shell, besides exceptions and women tend to talk it out.

Just do whatever works for you. When your heart is heavy, and you speak to someone you trust, who can say a few words of comfort, the conversation can really be uplifting.

However, be careful who you choose to speak to, when you are emotionally vulnerable.

26. Heal your wounds

When you are facing a tough situation, do not compound the problem by adding patterns of your past mistakes to it. Deal with the situation at hand only.

Each situation is and has nothing to do with what has happened before. You have changed since your past. Your thinking has changed and hence you need to forgive your past mistakes. Only then you can heal. If you were a different person yesterday, you would have behaved differently.

27. Pray, if you do

I personally do not believe in God. However, my mother does and so does many other members of my family. If faith gives you strength, please indulge in it. I have seen a lot of people spending years of their lives serving temples and churches. It gives them hope and keeps them alive.

An old woman praying
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If that’s something that helps you, please go out and do that.

28. Write

Write a dairy, or a journal of a private blog if you do not want to make it public. Write down how you feel and what’s going on right now in your mind.

Writing tends to clear your thoughts and see things more objectively than a clouded mind would.

29. Pain is the greatest teacher

Although it may be tough right now, there is a lesson is the pain. There is always a lesson in the pain.

Even the tough days of 2020 have taught us to value life and not take small things for granted. Even the things we took as part of our lives on a daily basis have been taken away from us this year. Let pain teach you to emerge even stronger this year.

30. No matter what you do, keep fighting

Life is not easy for many of us. We need to juggle money, relationships, passion, meaning and happiness on a daily basis. On the top of it, sometimes, everything is taken away from us and we are left wondering the meaning of it all.

In moments like these, remember to keep fighting and build your resilience. Do not give up, because giving up is not a solution.

31. There is always light at the end of the tunnel

We don’t know how long the tunnel is, but the longest tunnels come to an end. Keep looking for the light. Keep experimenting, when you see no signs of light.

Believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel and keep marching ahead.

32. Tell yourself that life is beautiful when this ends

This is a period in your life which exists to teach you something and take your life in a new direction. When this ends, you will be able to do the things you loved, and be able to enjoy life again.

Look forward to those again and keep working on the present, while planning for the future.

33. Take one day at a time

Things can get quite overwhelming if you look at the entire future in front you and everything looks gloomy. Take life one day a time. Deal with the day doing some of the things outlined in this article, and if you feel better, move incrementally.

Life is easier and problems are solvable if we handle the one a time.

34. Allow yourself to be happy

Just because you are going through a rough time, doesn’t mean you can’t allow yourself to be happy for a moment. Yesterday, while I was walking outside my house, a street vendor randomly smiled at me and it made my day. If you find a moment or a few moments of happiness in the pain, do not let them slip away.

35.  Eat healthy food

They saw all the time that we are what we eat. It is even true in hard times. We are what we eat. A lot of people tend to eat unhealthy because of the stress. Please take care that you do not stuff yourself with junk. It will affect your state of mind and body in a negative way and you do not want that to happen.

36. Sleep well

I know. When times are tough, it is quite difficult to sleep well. However, if you do what we have said in this post and keep yourself busy, you will tire yourself by the end of the day.

When you have time off since life is not usual, allow yourself to sleep more and rise well rested. Sleep can cure a lot of things, including a pattern of negative thoughts.

37. Do something that you enjoy

So what if times are hard, it doesn’t stop you from doing something you enjoy, does it? Make time every day to do something you enjoy. It will keep you focused on the blessing that life is, and that hard days will come to an end.

38. Invest in yourself

If you can, take up a new course or acquire a new skill that can benefit you professionally or personally. You could learn to cook, write code, pain, and write poetry, or anything that catches your fancy.

Consider the fact that most of us feel that life is short, and when we have idle time, we don’t know what to do with it.

39. Seek help, if you need

Regardless of what we do, sometimes, we lose control over our mind and feel that we are losing everything. In situations like those, please feel free to seek the help of medical professionals like psychologists and psychiatrists who may be able to help you from a medical perspective.

Do not worry about it and there is no stigma attached to it. Mental health is way more important than the value people attach to it.

40. Days will be bright again

Your life may change and you may have to work even harder than before, but tough days will be eventually over. You will be able to get back to life again. Everything will be alright, like they say.

A couple dancing
Photo by Marko Zirdum on Pexels.com

No matter what happens, do not give up on life. You are way tougher than the times you face.

41. Keep going

Life is in continual motion and so are you. When you face difficult times, they leave you with lessons that you remember for the rest of your life. All of us are bound to face multiple periods of adversity in our lives and all of those periods teach us important truths about life, which make us better human beings.

Just remember that and keep going. Nothing can keep you down, if you won’t let it.

Well, that’s the end of a really long list. I hope this post will help you deal with the difficult times you face. I sincerely believe that all of us are capable of dealing with what life throws at us, only if we believe in our abilities and stand tall in times of crisis. I will leave you with an immortal quote by the great Helen Keller:

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

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The not so famous poem about happiness

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I looked for happiness all over the place

There was none to find

This poem is a story of the pursuit of happiness

Will you hear, if you don’t mind?

I looked for happiness in money

I got some, but it faded away quite quickly

Was it really true happiness, I asked, honey?

I looked for happiness in people alone

But they changed too soon

And my joy was gone.

I looked for happiness in society, in vain

For when I looked deeper

I saw misery, I saw pain.

I looked for happiness in impressing those

Trying to impress me

And both of us lose.

I looked for happiness in success hence

But success without meaning lacked substance.

I looked for happiness by comparing myself with the world

But then I thought, doesn’t that make us all a herd?

I looked for happiness in travel and stays

I realized it lasted only a few days.

I looked for happiness in working hard, no less

And learnt that without direction, speed is worthless.

I looked for happiness everywhere

There was none to find

I felt as if for so much of my life I have been blind.

Alas, there is hope I tell you, let me confide

If you are looking for happiness

Find it inside.

Find it inside of you

That is where it lives

The one who finds happiness is the one who gives.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

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How to find happiness in small things every day

It is funny and tragic how hard we as human beings have made it for ourselves to be happy. We need a million things to be happy and we wait till the day we have those million things and the list never comes to an end, but our life does.

We don’t look for happiness where it exists and we just take it for granted. The first rule to be happy is to be conscious of how fortunate we are to be born as a human being and stop feeling sorry about ourselves.

Yes, you and I need a house, a bigger house and a better house, but a house wouldn’t solve all the problems of your life and make you supremely happier.

Credits: Pexels

Yes, you need a car but things can only give you so much happiness since the happiness that things buy is fleeting and doesn’t last beyond a few days.

Credits: Pexels

If you keep waiting to be happy till the day when you have that big house and a big car, you would have wasted a significant part of your life, just being unhappy and spreading unhappiness.

While you work hard to build the materialistic possessions that you want to buy, here is a list of things that should contribute to your happiness on an everyday basis. Like they say, for everything else, there is MasterCard.

1. You are alive

Just look up any list about the people who have lost their lives this year. At the time of writing this article, there are 165,148 deaths in US alone because of coronavirus as per CDC.

A lot of these people were young and had their entire lives in front of them. Even besides the virus, 100’s of people who shouldn’t have died so early in their lives have died.

You are alive. You can read this. You and I may have a chance at life if you survive the virus. We are fucking fortunate. The virus could hit anyone, anytime.

You did not earn life. It happened to you because your parents had sex. It was given to you because of a biological match between sticky liquids of your parents.

Now, can you can feel happy because you are alive?

2. You are educated

Education is a privilege in this world, especially formal education. I belong to India, where still large swathes of population are uneducated. If you have had access to good quality education, which has enabled you to be in a position to access self-education and learning for the rest of your life, you are bloody fortunate.

Please allow yourself to feel happy about it.

3. Family

Unfortunately, we are a ‘things’ driven society. We spoil relationships over material things. People who love you do not have a price tag. Your parents, your partner, your siblings and your friends are priceless. They are more important than anything money can buy.

If you have people in your life who care for you, it’s no small thing. Please feel happy about them.

4. Doing something you enjoy

I love sipping a cup of tea while thinking about the world. It’s one of my small guilty pleasures and I love it. I am almost addicted to tea and it makes me happy. It slows time down.

I am sure you do something which may seem small, but it makes you happy. Do that.

5. Passion is free

Most people do not know what they are passionate about. It takes effort and self-awareness to figure it out. If you know what you are passionate about, you are one of the most fortunate people on the planet.

Do what you are passionate about, even if you are not paid for it, in the beginning. At some point, they may start paying you for it.

I am passionate about writing, stand-up comedy (which I can’t do right now), running (I run every day), meeting intelligent people who can teach me something.

You are free to feel happy about what fires you up.

6. Early mornings

Early mornings are probably the most beautiful time of the day. If you can organise your life in a manner so you can wake up early morning, and watch the sun rise, your days will start on a beautiful note.

This habit is known as the habit of some of the world’s top achievers. Robin Sharma, the bestselling author of The Monk who sold his Ferrari has in fact, written another about starting your days early. Do check it out. He is a great guy.

7. Sound sleep

Sleep is one of the greatest pleasures of life. There are hundreds of people who don’t sleep properly. If you are lucky to get 7-8 hours of sound and peaceful sleep, it will make you feel excited about the new days.

Why, do feel happy about it.

8. Health is wealth

Food, exercise and sleep are the three important foundations of health. Would you give away a finger for a million dollars? I won’t. Take care of your health and if you are disease free, feel grateful and happy about the health you enjoy.

This is an indicative list which may apply to millions of people. However, you may have your own list of seemingly little things that make you happy. No matter how silly those things may seem to other people, do take the time to indulge in them. We have far too many people complaining about life 24 hours when even in one of the worst years in the history of humanity, there is much to feel joyful about.

For example, a lot of people collect postage stamps, and I have never seen any productive use of that habit. However, I have no right to question the fact that it does make them happy, and therefore, it is meaningful to them. Just don’t give a fuck about what people think about you.

Life gives us opportunities to be happy every day and we should grab the opportunities. A lot of our lives is just waiting for another day, while we should be stopping as much as possible to smell the flowers.

Credits: Pexels

As this year has taught us, life can be quite fickle. We must cherish the life we have, and capture as many moments of joy, while we can from our everyday routine lives.

I wish you happiness. I wish you joy.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

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How to get your life back on track when you feel broken and find happiness again

Young children are happy. They do whatever they need to be happy. They cry when they don’t get something that they want and make sure they get it.

Credits: StockSnap

Something somewhere gets ruined in their minds. We become adults and find that our lives have lost the joy that we used to feel as young children.

No, it doesn’t happen on its own. It happens when someone tells them the words which scar their lives-you just can’t have stuff you want.

Adult life is designed by the society to be miserable and only a few people are able to break through the shackles of everyday’s morbid existence. Only a few people are able to continue being kids and chase their happiness.

A lot of it depends on the kind of childhood one has, and the environment one grows up in. If your parents believe in happiness and they lived a life following their dreams, they would encourage you to follow your dreams as well. However, since most people in the world do not follow their dreams, they have no moral authority to ask their kids to follow their dreams too.

Therefore, most adult life around the world is similar- finish your education, find a job, have kids, do the same job or a similar job without questioning if the job makes you happy or fulfilled, have grand kids and die at some point.

What’s wrong with this system? Everything.

The fundamentals are wrong.

Why can’t we have a life doing work we love and enjoy so that it doesn’t feel like drudgery?

Why can’t we take time to understand our strengths and weaknesses so that we pursue goals which add value to the world, while making us feel happier?

We need to redesign lives. We probably need to stop the world till we fix it, and once it’s fixed, we can start again.

Here are some of the mind-set fixes that we need to fix the global adulthood:

1. You can create a life doing what you love

This is a parenting and schooling problem and needs to be fixed at both levels. Early on, we need to find what kids are good at, and nudge them in that direction.

When I look back at my entire education, I never cared to find out what my natural flair was, and hence I didn’t know. Nobody knew that these were worthy questions worth answering. I started figuring what I was good at in my early 30’s. I am 39 now and I have been trying to fix my life for the last 5 years or so. I think decades of mistakes will take a few more years to fix.

Once children can figure what they are good at, their self-esteem would improve even if they suck at all the other subjects.

2. Focus on strengths. Not on weaknesses

The education system and the corporate world seems to have some archaic philosophy that people should focus on their weaknesses and that somehow would help in improving the quality of their lives.

It’s one of the biggest fallacy of existence that you can find any happiness in trying to improve on your weaknesses. Let’s say you hate Microsoft Excel and you decide to improve on it. At most, you will move from bad to mediocre on the scale of improvement, but you will never be outstanding.

You can only be outstanding doing something you naturally enjoy.

3. Take a U turn

U turns are not quite respected in society. But, think about it. If you set off in a direction to achieve your goal, which is happiness for yourself and for others you care about, and you realize that you are miserable, why would you keep going?

If the road leads to hell, and you know it in hindsight, take a U-turn, come back to the roundabout, and start again.

I don’t really care how old you are. You may be 25, 35, 35, or 55. It’s already been way too long walking in the wrong direction. Move back and restart.

4. Ability to take a risk

Yes, to be able to take risk is a privilege everyone doesn’t have. In order for you to be able to take a risk, you will need a certain financial cushion that will last, while you work on your dreams.

It helps if you have a supporting family who are willing to support your risk, otherwise, you will have to do this on your own. Please save some money and do yourself a favor. Take the plunge. Even if it doesn’t have, you will know that you tried.

5. Plan B

What’s your Plan A in your life? Your happiness.

That’s the plan A that this blog recommends. Now, what’s plan B or plan C or plan D?

Every plan besides Plan A is a compromise and would lead to misery. Yes, it is not easy to make Plan A work and that’s why most people don’t believe in it to start with. However, if you start on plan A, the journey is the source of your happiness. You generate your fuel on the journey, keep adapting the plan as long as you keep the goal in your mind- your happiness.

6. You can only find your happiness by making others happy

When you think about your road to happiness, it goes through other people’s lives. The greatest entrepreneurs, authors, artists who have found wealth and happiness for themselves, have done so by solving other people’s problems and thereby making the world a better place.

7. Money is means to an end

Money is not the end. It is not the purpose of life. I wrote a piece about money the other day, which you may want to read here.

These are a few starting points to fixing the painful adulthood that millions of people live here on the planet. We need to fix it, and we can only fix it together.

Misery loves company, and so does joy. If you find your happiness, help others in finding there. If you haven’t found your happiness, still help others in finding theirs. There is high likelihood that you will end up finding yours in the process.

Let us fix adulthood. It is broken. Be happy, again.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

How to find your life purpose and live a fulfilling life?

Welcome to the happiness blog. In case you are visiting for the first time, please do not forget to follow. Each post on this blog has a single objective- to make your everyday life happier.

Purpose is at the core of happiness and fulfillment as we have seen in this blog over and over. However, I realized that I haven’t written a post that explains a process if there were one, to find your purpose.

Is there a process or a framework one can use to create his/her life purpose? Let us see if we can do that.

We will need to make an assumption. The assumption is what Aristotle said about happiness-

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

Now, in order to find our life purpose, we will say what Aristotle said about human life is true and now, we need to derive our purpose on the basis of this aphorism.

So, what are the few things you can do to find purpose, passion and meaning in life?

1. Take steps to improve your level of self-awareness

You cannot find your purpose unless you live a conscious life. A conscious life is a self-aware life. Most people do not live consciously self-aware lives. If you do not make the effort to understand yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses, what turns you on fire, what puts you off, then life will move from one station to another and you wouldn’t know why you are making those decisions.

Saying, ‘to make more money’ behind your life decisions doesn’t make for a conscious life. Money is not the purpose of life. It is a means to an end, like technology. If you are to find your purpose, your need to be aware about yourself, and your constantly changing self.

2. Read about and study people who live a purposeful life

In order to find purpose and direction in life, it helps to study lives of people who have found theirs. So, read about their lives. Watch their videos and listen to them. If there is an opportunity to meet them, go and meet them. Understanding what makes their days and lives purposeful would help you in understanding how to find purpose in your life.

3. Connect with your deepest self

Do not live a shallow life. Do not have shallow conversations. Live with depth. Depth is quite difficult to put in words but it does mean what it says. If you ask deep questions about what life and living means to you, you will find depth. You would also seek out conversations with people who have depth. Shallow people are unlikely to live a purposeful life.

4. To find your purpose, start with the macro definition of human life

The macro purpose of human life is to find happiness. That is the purpose of all humanity. That means, what everyone is trying to do in their own ways is to find happiness for themselves. In order for you to find your own life purpose, you will need to plug in your purpose to the macro purpose of human life.

That means, whatever you do has to make the world a happier place. Your purpose is to make the world a happier place. That goes for everyone. However, this is too broad a purpose and we would need to break it down and make it something specific and confined to your life. It has to be custom made for you. So, how do we create a custom purpose for ourselves?

5. Research and study your life

Ask yourself deep questions about your life to find your purpose.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

 Study your life as an outsider. If you need help, speak to a closed one and try to understand what they say about you. Try to understand what drives you. Why are you drawn towards things that you are drawn towards? What gives you joy and fulfilment?

Become a student of your life. You need answers to some deep questions about the kind of life you are about to create for you. The answers lies in the questions you ask yourself. A few important questions you could use are here:

  • When am I the happiest?
  • What drives me?
  • As a child, what inspired me?
  • Who is my idol? What do I like about them?
  • If I had all the money in the world, how would I spend my time? 
  • What am I really good at?
  • What do I suck at but still do?
  • What do I love to do so much that I would be willing to pay to do it?
  • If I had 100 days to live, how would I live them?
  • Do I enjoy my job? What parts of it do I enjoy and what parts do I not?
  • What are my learning goals?
  • What should be my learning goals?
  • What is the core reason beneath my behavior?

You see, we can keep adding questions and the list wouldn’t be complete. May be, the right question for you is still not here and you need to frame that question yourself. The purpose of this conversation with yourself is figure out your deepest motivations and use them to define a purpose for yourself.

6. Weave in your motivations and make the world happier

Now, you will realize once you answer some of those questions is that having an impact on other people’s lives would make you happier, no matter what it is that you do that achieves that outcome.

This means that making the world a happier place remains the goal. So, let us say that in the preceding point, you realized that you love to draw. As a child you have drawn everywhere. You were rebuked in your school for always doodling in the classes. You had been drawing at the walls of the school, those of your home and every other surface you could find. Some of your friends really appreciate that about you and there is this special friend that once told you that you draw so beautifully and you have never forgotten that. May be once you made a painting, and everyone who saw it was charmed beyond their belief.

You just can’t get over drawing. You enjoy the process of creation and the impact it has on others. It makes other people happy and it makes you happy and it is one way you make a difference in the world.

7. Define your life purpose by marrying who you are with the macro mission of making the world a happier place

Let’s say your name is Anjali. Now, you Anjali, loves to draw and that makes people happier. Does that have a commercial motive? Fine. If you are trying to draw a purpose that would have a professional meaning to it, it will help in your career beyond your life.

So, now that we know that Anjali has been drawing throughout her school life, what could Anjali’s purpose of life be? It comes naturally to her and she cannot NOT do it.

Anjali’s purpose could be to use the power of art to make the world an inspiring and happier place.

How to find your life purpose?
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It could be even more specific in case she doesn’t want to broaden drawing to the while of art space. It could be to draw the world into a better place.

8. Your purpose must appeal to you EMOTIONALLY

Purpose is about emotions. It is not about money to start with. Money may be a corollary and an outcome, but it is about you. It is about your emotions. It must appeal to you at a deep emotional level.

So, when you write down a purpose statement for yourself, use the words that appeal to your core. I like the word happy. So, I use it everywhere. I have started this blog because I think it is part of my purpose is to make the world a happier place through my writing.

Use what excites you and make you act on your purpose.

9. Your purpose must drive you to action

Following up from the preceding point, if your purpose drives you emotionally, you would be inspired to act on it. The whole idea is to act on your purpose. Your purpose will become your WHY to anything you do. It must inspire you to think through anything that comes along in life.

If it doesn’t drive you to take action on it, then redo the entire process. Your purpose is your raison d’etre. It is your reason for existence. The entire idea of the purpose finding exercise is to arrive at something that makes you believe that your life matters and that you have a reason to exist in the world.

10. Once you have found your purpose, start living your life purposefully

Once you have found your purpose, organise your life around it. Plan your days in a manner that you feel that you are living your purpose. May be, you would not be able to do it immediately since you are in a job that pays the bills and that is your only source of income. Since nobody told you purpose is important, you did not look for jobs and work that align with your life purpose.

However, now that you know what your purpose is, you would need to start working on it and create a life which reflects your purpose. That would help you find meaning in your days and happiness in your heart.

11. Purpose will help you in leaving a legacy

So many people are born every day. The world currently has over 7 billion people. Not all of them are able to live lives in a manner that it improves the state of the world a meaningful and significant way. A life without purpose cannot create a legacy.  A legacy is what you and I will be remembered for.

Will you be remembered for something? I want to be remembered for trying to make the world a happier place and helping people find their happiness. That is what I am working on. My purpose is to make the world an inspired and happier place. What is yours?

12. Purpose will give you your WHY

Once you have your purpose in place and you feel convinced about it, you will start living a conscious life. You will be able to answer for yourself and tell others why you do what you do. You will be able to consciously create a life around something you find meaningful and fulfilling.

13. Purpose is the key to inner happiness

Find and start living your purpose
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The kind of happiness we talk about on this blog-deep and meaningful happiness cannot be achieved without purpose. Only living a purposeful life will allow you to connect with your inner self and thereby create deep feeling of joy. If you want to be happy, you cannot do without purpose.

14. A life without purpose is like a journey without a destination

When a ship takes on a journey, it needs a destination. Every course that is possible for the ship must be then guided to reach the destination. Similarly, human life is directionless without purpose and would meander from one path to another path without knowing why, because there isn’t a why. The BIG WHY is missing.

15. Without purpose, you will end up in the materialistic rut

Money and things money can buy fill up the vacuum in a life without purpose.

People who can’t or don’t make the effort to find a meaningful and real purpose run after money and materialistic pursuits because they convince themselves that money is the purpose of life when it is only a means to an end.

Is it hard to find and live your purpose?

Yes, it is hard and that’s why most people don’t make the effort. They convince themselves that the materialistic life is their purpose and the money they accumulate, the more happiness they will find, which turns out to be nothing but a vicious circle.

However, just because it is hard doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t seek it. It is hard yes, to find your purpose but that’s the only way to avoid the trap of a superficial life. Your purpose is the only way to live a happy, fulfilling and meaningful life.

To conclude, purpose is a beautiful thing. It gives you a reason for existence. When we are born, we don’t know why. However, nature leaves clues within our lives and personality. There are hidden clues and we need to find them. We need to figure ourselves out and then connect that understanding with the purpose of human life, which is to find happiness for everyone. Our purpose is to use who we are naturally to make a small dent in the universe. We can only do that through purpose. So, spend time in finding your purpose. It may change the entire meaning of life for you and make your days happier, meaningful and more fulfilling.

Thank you for reading.

The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani                                               

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