It is hard to be happy within and so most people don’t try. They live lives which look good on the outside but rot on the inside. It is hard, but we have no choice.
It is not hard to be happy. We make it hard. The human society has been wired in a way that he/she makes it extremely difficult to be happy. That makes it hard to be happy. We need to fix a lot of things to make ourselves a happy society, by choosing happiness over everything else.
I am not sure. Do people want to be happy or am I wasting my time in writing this blog and trying to make the world a happier place. I am struggling so far in trying to sell this idea of happiness to people. So, may be, I am wrong in thinking that people do want to be happy.
However, for the purpose of this article and this happiness blog, we will assume that people do want to be happy but they struggle to find happiness. That is true that it is difficult to be happy. It is extremely hard to live a truly happy life. There are too many variables at play and they don’t necessary work in congruence.
Why is it so hard to be happy?
1. We are not looking for happiness
Who is looking for happiness? It is a messed up society. People do not look for happiness. They do not define their happiness but internal standards.
Albeit, they do so as a way of living a life similar to what other people live. They want to be like other people. They want to behave like the fucking crowd. The crowd isn’t quite thinking for itself, because it is well, the crowd. In a mob, nobody is thinking. They are just doing what everybody else is doing because some fool said that that is the right way to live life.
Look around you. People want things. They do not want happiness. They want an iPhone, the new symbol of materialistic pursuit in the world. People are living their lives from one iPhone to another. They plan their lives in tune with Apple events and buy a new iPhone as soon as it is launched as if that makes their lives successful in the eyes of their peers. Quite weirdly, it does.
May be, it’s a new car, or a house. May be, it is another thing.
Who is chasing happiness?
Do things buy you happiness?
This blog disagrees. Things do not buy you happiness. Things buy you happiness for a certain duration of time and then life takes over.
2. Comparison with the rest of the world
If no two lives are not meant to be similar, then why the hell are we comparing our lives constantly through our lives with the rest of the world? Why do we want to do things that others want to do, and not take some time to decide what do we want to do?
As long as we keep comparing our lives with everyone else’s, we will not find happiness. You find happiness by focusing on your life and not by comparing your life with those of others and feeling sorry about yours. It is stupid no, because if you keep comparing your life with those of others, you will always find something missing in your life. You will not be happy because you don’t care enough about your life and then you ask why it is hard to be happy.
3. The society is designed around misery
If we are not designed with happiness as the goal, we are designed for misery since that’s what we are achieving. The rates of depression are rising around the world in spite of increasing wealth. People cannot cope with their mental health.
Materialism has taken over inner happiness. Showing off is the route to success and that’s how you prove that you have really arrived in life. The society is designed around misery and that’s what it is getting.
If we need happiness as a society, we need to build an architecture of happiness.
4. Incompatibility in relationships
Life is inherently difficult and it is already difficult to live a disciplined and happy life. It only helps if you have someone with you who values what you value. If you live with someone who values different things, then it makes life even more difficult since they wouldn’t care about you value and would make it difficult for you to live your life the way you want to live it. Similarly, they wouldn’t be happy with you since you can’t get yourself to value what they do, whatever it may be.
That people value anything else over compatibility in relationships makes happiness difficult.
5. Prioritizing success over happiness
The problem with the world is that it is geared towards success and success is not internally driven. Success is externally driven. People judge each other’s success and they want to be like them. People live lives to impress other people and those people in return lives to impress them.
This has created a sort of vicious cycle in the society which is causing pain. Success is not internally driven, and hence the external nature of success makes people want to live lives for other people, rather for themselves. This creates unhappiness, since happiness can only be found inside of you.
6. Lives driven by fear than by love
If we are to create a happier world, we need more people driven by love, than by fear.
7. Tying happiness to a destinations than to the journey
The thing with happiness is that it is a journey and not a destination. You cannot hope to be happy on a certain distant day in your life. Either you are happy today or not. You can be happy today regardless of where you are in life. You can work to improve your life while finding happiness in just being alive. Happiness is a journey and not a destination.
8. Lack of gratitude
Gratitude is the key to contentment and happiness and it is not even a made up thing. It is legitimate. You and I did not earn life. It was given to us and we have every reason in the world to be happy. You can read this- that means on the top of life, you also got the benefit of education. You can read this on a device, which means you have access to technology and the internet. There is just so much to be grateful about that we shouldn’t have the time to feel sad. Still, people find reasons to be sad and unhappy because they are always looking at what’s missing.
How can you be happy if you are always looking at what’s missing from your life instead of what you have?
9. Not looking inside for happiness
Happiness doesn’t live outside of you. It lives inside and the only way to truly find happiness is inside. Meditate, observe your thoughts, spend time with yourself and learn about what your life is about. Those are the key sources of happiness. We need to create a framework of happiness where our lives fit in, so that we can live happily.
The problem is we are all seeking happiness outside, when it lives inside of us. If we don’t go inside to find it, we will keep looking outside for the whole of our lives and never find joy.
10. Lack of purpose
It is hard to be happy because it takes a lot of internal work to find purpose which most people do not invest in. Rather, they find It is easier to live a life like most people do and so most people live lives to live a life to impress others, who lack purpose. Purposeful people spend time with purposeful people who think for themselves and do things they care about them.
11. People give up on happiness
12. Negativity feeds unhappiness
Negativity is the umbrella term for comparison, for lack of gratitude, for looking at what’s missing all the time, among other things that make us feel weak emotionally. We can’t be happy if we are always looking at the negatives of life.
In order to be happy, we need to embrace optimism.
Thank you for reading.
The purpose of this blog to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share any posts you like with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.
I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.