In order to truly live, learning how to live in the now, is the most difficult, and the most important skill in the world. It is being here, physically, mentally, right now.
Why should we make every effort to live in the present moment?
The present moment is all there is on offer to be lived, and there is nothing else. Yours and my ability to live in the now, is determining the quality of our lives, every passing moment. The past is gone, and is a part of history now. The future cannot be lived right now.
The choice we have as human beings is to either live in the now, or waste it. Most of us end up wasting it, for we may physically present in the now, but we aren’t mentally present. Our minds are either in the past or the future, and the moments that we can live now, keep slipping us by, moment by moment, moment by moment. What a tragedy!
Why do we struggle to live in the now?
We struggle to live in the present moment because we are so full of yesterday’s regrets, and worries about the tomorrow. The truth is that yesterday is gone forever and there is nothing left of it, besides the lessons it taught. The future, when comes, won’t be future- it would be the present.
But we struggle because we don’t quite practice living in the now. There is theory that we all know, and then there is practice, that only a few of us. In order to enjoy every day and every moment of our lives, there is nothing more cardinal than being able to live in the now.
Have you realized how important it is to live in the now?
While you are reading this article, are you really reading it, or are you doing something else on the side. If you are doing something else, you are not doing justice to either this article or to the other task, you are on, no matter how frivolous or important.
Life is short; moments and days keep slipping us by every day, NEVER to return again.
Read that again. If you are an adult, your childhood will never come back. If you are in your 50’s, your 20’s or 30’s or 40’s are NEVER going to come back. They are gone forever! People who were important to you, and things you cared about during those times, are gone and meaningless now. They are all, but a memory, good or bad.
The past is dead-the good, and the bad. The future is an assumption. The present moment is all we have.
If we get to see the future, we will only be living it in the now, or the present. It will be present, and not the future, when it is not hypothetical anymore. You and I cannot live the future right now. In the now, we can only live in the now.
The future is really an assumption.
Let us dive in the how of it now- how to live in the present moment
This is going to be a bit unconventional since I realize I have said a lot of things about the importance of the present moment already on this blog. That’s true, and those are great reminders.
But, hey, amidst the chaos of life, we don’t tend to remember all of that theory, if I may say that. So, I am going to give you a few real things I have been practicing to live in the NOW. Now, is really, all we have. It will not come again, this moment. So, if you really care about your life, read this post extremely carefully, and practice living in the moment. There is no way you and I are going to learn how to live in the now without practicing.
Let us now, look at practical mind exercises and tips to live in the NOW:
1. Remind yourself that the present moment will NEVER come back again
This is one of the most important pieces of advice I can give you about life and about living you in the now. I have realized this pretty recently myself.
The same moment NEVER repeats again. The same opportunity NEVER repeats again in the same context or situation.
Let us say you are in college aged about 19 or 20. Your name is Sam and you like Sandra, your classmate. You have been thinking about her, for a while, and want to have a chat with her about how attractive you find her. She is already your friend, but you want to take the casual friendship you have with her, to something far more meaningful. You make up your mind that you are going to confront her, and tell her that you like her.
Now, one day you see her at the close of college, and waiting for her cab, all by herself. You think of approaching her, but you are struggling and scared of rejection. So, you tell yourself, that you will talk to her next week. Another week passes and you don’t muster the courage.
In a month, Sandra’s father gets posted elsewhere, and she suddenly disappears, as her family moves out of the city, and she is gone from a possibility in your life, to a memory of a girl you really liked.
The same moment, the same opportunity, never comes again. Seize the moment.
2. How to live in the present moment at work
You can only live in the moment at work, when you are interested in what you do, and find your work genuinely interesting and enjoyable. So, make every effort to find work that aligns with who you are. That means you need to understand yourself first, and then align your work, with your understanding of yourself.
Once you have done that, you will find that you can immerse yourself in the moment, and start living in the now at work.
3. Immerse in the now by choosing and scheduling carefully what you spend time on
Choose your schedule quite carefully. Fill it up with activities that interest you, and people who interest you. Don’t waste time. Sometimes, we tend to make mistakes and find that we have filled our life with meaningless stuff.
You can make amends. Life is short. Don’t waste time on meaningless activities, which tend to distract you and feel like a waste of time.
- You think a meeting is meaningless- walk out of it.
- You went to try a new restaurant, and the food is not up to your standards- leave.
- You started reading a book and after reading a few chapters, you feel it has no value- drop it.
- You can’t fix a relationship after trying your best to do it, walk away.
- You are stuck at a dead-end job where your boss or larger stakeholders don’t appreciate you- leave and find another one
I know, all of this is easier said than done, but I have done this a few times. Every time I have taken a major risk to improve the quality of my present moment, I haven’t quite succeeded. But I have succeeded enough that I have far more meaning in my life, than a lot of people in the world. One day, I will reach a point where every moment is meaningful.
4. Be brutal with your time to live in the now
Be brutal with your time. Although your schedule needs some flexibility, build that in. Make time for rest and recuperation. Call it that- time to rest, so if you don’t feel agitated about it, if you are as restless like I am.
Make sure that the time you are spending doing whatever you are doing, makes you grow, personally, professionally or socially-whatever you value in the moment,
5. Practice mindfulness through the day, to live in the moment
To live in the present moment or to live in the now, we need to practice mindfulness. That is, we need to learn to do everything we do, with our full and complete concentration, unless we are talking about meditation, which is essentially the opposite of concentration.
So, eat mindfully, which means, focus on the food, and do not let multiple other activities spoil the experience of the meal.
Work mindfully, which means, completely dedicate yourself mentally to the task at hand.
Listen mindfully, which means, pay full attention to the person you are listening to, so that they feel heard.
It is impossible to live in the now, without being mindful. Mindfulness is the key to living in the now.
6. Do ONE thing at a time to live in the now
Alright, I will get into it straight without mincing any words- multi-tasking sucks. It is an awful scourge, especially of the corporate world. People take pride in multi-tasking; as if it’s a badge of honour.
There is no way you can live in the present moment doing multi-tasking as you will try to focus on multiple things at a time. Our mind cannot focus on more than one thing a time. So, if you want to live in the present moment, get rid of the idea that you can multi-task.
All of us can multi-task but we cannot live in the moment doing that.
7. Meditate often to learn how to live in the moment
Make some time for silence and meditation in your every day schedule. Meditation isn’t quite concentration. Rather, what you try to do it to focus on your breathing while letting your mind wander and observe the thoughts that come in a non-judgemental way. It is not taxing for your mind because the mind is free to do what it wants.
However, you are sitting in a silent state while you focus on your breath and nothing else. It improves your ability to live in the now because that’s exactly what you are doing. I will write a separate piece on the differences or overlaps between meditation, concentration and mindfulness. However, this piece on mindfulness and concentration may provide some perspective.
8. Throw your phone physically away, put it on silent/airplane mode
Now, you could be working on an article like this, or an email or a piece of art, or you may be about to have sex. If it’s important to you, it needs your complete attention. If you are to do a good job, you need to focus on it with all you have got.
So, put your phone away and give it everything you have. There is no way you can be present in the moment and live in the now if notifications from the apps in your phone keep popping up every now and then.
9. Use mental activation modes to live in the now
Let me explain what I mean by this. We are running from one activity to another during the course of the day. Each activity puts us in a different frame of mind. When we are at work, for example, we are in a state of intellectual focus and our body is usually at rest in a sedentary state. Now, if you are moving to another activity, for example, dancing or working out in the gym, you need a different mental activation mode.
Let us look at a few examples on how to activate your mind for the present moment.
- In order to activate your mind to dance, for example, change into your dancing clothes, and shoes, and reach the place/studio where you are going to dance. You see a bunch of people there. If there is music, already start grooving. Tell yourself that you are going to kill it, and just keep moving. There is life beyond the dance session, and you will get to it, once you are done here.
- If you are going to have a work meeting with your colleagues which needs brainstorming, get into the mental activation mode by putting your phones on silent, ensuring there is some water in the room and zero disturbance.
- To activate romance, put om dim lights, some nice fragrance in the room, turns your phones off/silent/whatever keeps them shut, and you know what to do after that.
- If you on a date and rushing in into the date from work, take a few moments to breathe and tell yourself how excited you are at the opportunity to meet your date. Once you do that, they will sense your enthusiasm and joy.
- If you are going from a dull day at work to the gym to lift weights, visualize yourself lifting before you actually lift, and you will feel you are already ready before the first life.
Move from one mental state to another to be present
We do so many things every day, and we are in a different state of mind in every activity. I have recently started to activate my mind before doing what I am about to do, so that I am living right in the moment, and nowhere else, physically and mentally.
10. Understand that life is a rollercoaster- there will be pain and joy in different moments of life
You may say, fine dude, I get it, but what has that got to do with living in the moment. I will explain. Let’s say somebody you knew passed away and you have to pay a visit to the cemetery. In the evening on the same day, you have a dance party invite. It’s a close friend again, and you want to do.
These are 2 extremely different kinds of mental states you would need to be in, if you plan to attend both. Would you be able to make the visit to the cemetery and attend the dance party in the same day?
If life is a visit to the cemetery and dance party in the same day, can you be in the moment at both places?
Can you express your sorrow while at the cemetery and can you dance, like there is no tomorrow at the dance party? Therein lies your ability to live in the present moment, to live in the now.
In Conclusion-
To be able to live in the present moment, mentally and physically is one of the most important skills we need as human beings to be happy. Time is all we have, and the past, good or bad, is gone. The future is an assumption, and so, the present moment, the NOW is all we have.
Do not squander the now for the dead past and the presumed future.
Why do I write this blog?
The purpose of this blog is to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share the post with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.
I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.
Love,
Amarvani
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