What is morality, after all?
Morality, loosely understood, is what a group of people consider rightful behavior. Who are these groups of people. Well, these are majority of the people in let’s say countries, offices, communities etc.
To start with, I have a problem with the definition itself. Morality should not be driven by what the society decides to be right, but by what the individual does. But, we as individuals need to have some guiding principle to decide if we consider something moral or immoral.
Here is my definition of morality, from the perspective of happiness, which is the purpose of everything I write.
In order to understand what is moral, we need to understand what is not moral.
What is immoral?
To me, what is immoral is what causes intentional pain to someone else.
Would I kill someone?
No, because that’s immoral, since that would cause pain to the person, ending their lives, and to their family.
Would I rob someone of their money?
No, because the act would cause them mental and physical suffering, and to me that’s immoral.
Okay, this piece is going to be different than a lot of the stuff I write on this happiness blog, because I am looking at morality from the perspective of the perspective of a business which a significant chunk of our society considers inappropriate.
We will talk about sex and pleasure, and the business of sex to understand what is morality. It may be the most far-fetched view of morality because it’s a debate that has lasted since human history has.
Each country in the world have their own rules about the morality of the escorts or the sex industry in general. However, it’s a profession that’s lasted for centuries and is not going away anywhere, whatever the society thinks of it. Adult men and women have control over their bodies and they can choose what to do with it.
Like I had mentioned in a post earlier on this blog, everyone’s selling something:
- Employees who hate their jobs sell their souls for money
- Salesmen try to sell products they hate for money
Well, at least escorts, be it male or female are doing something worthwhile, offering companionship, and sexual gratification to their clients. They are selling pleasure and companionship while making the lives of their clients a little less lonely.
Is sex pleasure or happiness, and what has morality got to do with it?
You see, the term sexual happiness doesn’t quite make sense, because happiness is something that lasts for a long period, longer than the duration of sex.
It is pleasurable to have sex, and be in physical bonding with another human being. The feeling of sex is pleasurable. Heck, you can buy pleasure. There are folks offering exotic pleasure in the form of escorts, like those recommended by the London Privé. It is a world out there of men and women who are offering company, travel and sex in return of a consideration, which you can pay, and get on with life, no strings attached. It is pleasure for sure, and it is pleasure that you can simply buy.
But, is sex the same thing as love?
Well, now that’s the problem between sex and love, and if we may, between pleasure and happiness. Sexual pleasure that you get from having sex with someone you love is different than the sexual pleasure you get when you pay for it.
Perhaps even the escorts are having sex with different set of people for pleasure and money, and with a different set for happiness.
Love is a complex game to crack than sex.
Let’s start with basics – what do escorts do, by the way?
There is a lot of debate on the internet about what escorts really do. It is a ridiculous debate because people know what they do and fantasize about it, as well; those who can afford it. But, for the sake of humour, we will look at what they do. Among other things, a female escort could do the below:
Pluck your nose hair
An escort is a certified professional in nose picking. Both male and female escorts can pluck the clients’ nose hair, one hair at a time.
Scratch your ears
If you have itching in your ears, you can hire an escort. Ear wax is a global problem, and nobody but a certified, hi-end escort who is dedicated to cleanliness of your ears will dedicate time to scratching and cleaning them.
Stare at you for 2 hours in complete silence
Escorts are quite competent in blank staring. You could hire an escort and request her to sit in front of you in a staring contest. It’s no doubt you will lose because escorts are trained in blank staring. An escort can stare at you and wonder what the hell you are doing with your life while they wonder what they are doing with theirs.
Dance classical forms of dancing
Escorts are trained classical dancers. If you hire an escort for 2 days, one day you could spend time with them outdoors. Clubs and pubs in the UK have a lot of classical music playing, and you could learn some classical music and dancing with your escort.
Body guard
Female escorts, given their build can also be your guards. Since you have so much money as a globetrotting corporate honcho, a lot of people could try to steal and rob you. Female escorts are trained in martial arts and they will jump and kill for you.
Additionally, a male escort could do the below:
Do your eyebrows
You think men can’t do eyebrows? Male escorts are trained in trimming eyebrows and making them looking like the cradle of a moon
Upper lips
As a female client, you could be bothered about some hair on your upper lips which could be extremely irritating for you. You could hire an escort who could do the job for you and make that upper lip shine.
Eyelashes
A male escort is trained at doing eyelashes and even inserting some hair where the intensity isn’t enough
Gossip about other people
Some of you may enjoy gossiping about other people once you are exhausted with each other because there is so much time in life. An escort would do that with you, with a lot of patience.
Alright, if this wasn’t clear, the above section was a joke.
It’s quite obvious that rich men and women hire escorts for companionship and sexual gratification in most cases, besides where you haven’t had someone to scratch your head in the first place.
Why blame the sex industry?
The sex industry has existed since time immemorial. The society tends to have an immoral view of the work that the industry does. We are quite judgmental, aren’t we. Again, if we go back the definition of morality we set out with in the beginning- what’s immoral about sex work?
Are the escorts in the business, causing people pain?
The answer is no. Then it is not immoral.
Are they in the business on their own independent will?
If the answer is yes, then it is not immoral. If the answer is no, it is criminal.
What is morality- Why do men and women choose to be escorts?
We should think about the reasons men and women choose to be escorts, while trying to understand the question from the viewpoint of morality.
Everyone’s selling something. While researching for the piece, I came across a discussion where a female escort has answered the question:
“People sell their brain, and we sell our body.”
Well, that’s one way to think about it. However, a lot many clients who hire the services of escorts may be lonely, and seek not only sex, but also some company and companionship, without commitments.
We should be cautious of judging anyone when we aren’t running their house. These are men and women who have chosen as a profession which has demand, and there are clients willing to pay for their time and services.
Where there is demand, there is an economy, because supply feeds in.
Why is sex work considered immoral?
If you have a job you don’t like, you are selling your time, your mind and soul, for money. Aren’t you? There is nothing much to be lauded about that besides the fact that you are able to live a miserable life that society approves of.
As a writer and thinker, I don’t give a damn about what society thinks because I don’t want to be a part of the miserable mob.
When there is coercion involved, and the escort is doing the work, under pressure, certainly, it is immoral and a crime. However, in cases where men and women choose to be escorts, we need to re-think about the so-called morality of the work.
Let us look at a few hypothetical stories to consider the morality involved here
Story 1 – Sandra
Let us say, Sandra, 21, graduates out of college, and goes to work at a printing press. Her job is to find more clients for the press and its publications. She has no interest in the job, and while she is with a friend at a party, who works as an escort, she is introduced to the opportunity.
When her friend tell her about what she does, Sandra considers the situation. She doesn’t like her job, and there’s an opportunity here where she could provide companionship, or if she likes, sex, to potential clients, set her own rates, and make some money. She decides to give it shot.
Her friend books her a client for 1000 dollars. Her job is to spend the weekend with him doing whatever he wants. The man works at a bank, a job he hates and is single and not looking for a relationship. He just needs company, no strings attached. Let’s call him John.
John and Sandra meet on Saturday morning, and he takes her out for a lunch. He is respectful, and gets to know Sandra a bit, before they head to his hotel, where he is staying the weekend. Now, they have sex in the hotel, and the routine repeats with some shopping and movies and more sex.
Is John being moral here?
He has bought a service and paid for it. Can he find a partner who does a job or has a business? Of course, he can but all of us it is a long and tedious process, which may or may not succeed. Millions of marriages and relationships fail every day. Perhaps John had a break-up a week back, or a divorce and he is healing. He would probably commit suicide because he was so lonely, and spending time with Sandra allowed him some private human connection. Should he be spending time with Sandra? None of our business, as long as Sandra and John are doing something with their consent.
We don’t know, and so we have no right to judge John.
Is Sandra being moral here?
None of our business if she is doing it on her will. She offered a service on demand and got paid for it.
Sandra enjoyed the weekend, and the freedom it got her. She considers the fact that she may not be able to share what she did, with her family, but they don’t seem to care about her anyway. Even if they did care, they won’t understand.
Story 2- Does she like the job- Raj
Let’s consider a man called Raj in any part of the world. Now, Raj has a family to feed. He goes to a job where he cleans sewage for 8 hours a day.
Does Raj enjoy the job? He doesn’t. But does he do the job? Yes, he does.
Story 3- Marie
Or think about another girl, we will call her Marie. Marie goes to a job where she just makes enough to take care of herself and her ailing mother. At her job, she has to work on excel sheets all day, and most of the work is non-thinking, boring and dull. As a child, she loved dancing, but her dad passed away and mom fell sick, bringing the responsibility of running the household on her.
Does Marie enjoy the job? She doesn’t. But does she, do it? Yes, she does.
No, we will get into the bullshit discussion about whether escorts enjoy their jobs. Most people do jobs they either hate or dislike, because they are trying to go up the ladder of life, called the Maslow hierarchy.
In Conclusion-
This took me a long while to write as I was thinking constantly about the points I was trying to make, while instilling some humour in the process. Here is what I am saying:
1. Sex work is work. There is demand for it, and people who fulfil the demand willingly (own consent), for whatever reasons of theirs, have every right to do it.
2. They deserve respect for earning their living, like every other tom, dick and harry does for earning theirs.
3. We, the rest of the society, have no right to judge people working as male or female escorts as immoral. Hey, some of you are the customers and lot of you have your fingers in shit which others may find immoral.
4. Yeah, that’s about it.
Why do I write this blog?
The purpose of this blog is to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share the post with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.
I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.
Love,
Amarvani
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