Never kill yourself. Hey, if you found this post, you may be struggling. Life is really hard and sometimes, we feel that we face problems that will never go away and they are causing us incredible amounts of pain.

This is not a post about euthanasia, since it is medically administered and evaluated. This is a post about suicide. I heard this quote as a child and it has stayed with me throughout my adult life, even when I faced difficulties that I felt will never go away:

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

Now, I know, you may say, hey dude, don’t try to oversimplify. I am not trying to oversimplify. I am just saying don’t ever kill yourself.

This morning, I woke up to the news to a young couple killing themselves because of the problems they faced in the last one year. The man killed himself first, and the wife couldn’t bear the pain of her beloved husband dying and subsequently she killed herself by jumping off her apartment, killing herself. They were 28.

Don’t kill yourself, please. You may abuse me if you like, but please don’t commit suicide. I am a stranger for you in some part of the world, I know. Here, I am trying to be your friend. Please abuse me, shout at me, but don’t take the extreme step.

Let me offer some reasons why you should consider other possibilities besides ending your life:

1. Somebody may help, so don’t kill yourself

Look here, I am writing this for you. Who are you to me? I care. I hate the fact that that beautiful couple who clearly loved each other so much died at such a young age, when they could have reached out to the families or friends. The man who killed himself was struggling to find a job for a few months, and his wife had been unwell.

He was a graduate from one of the Indian institutes of management (Jammu), which is one of the most prestigious business schools in India. He could have reached out to his batchmates, at least the ones he trusted. Something may have come up, if not immediately, then in a few months.

If he had reached out to a 1000 people, someone would have helped. He was a bright guy with a penchant for photography as well, which brings me to point 2.

2. Your job is not your life

Our man, let us call him Veer, had a photography talent. I understand since he was in a job, his talent was currently amateurish. However, if he could negotiate with his loving wife, to give him one year to focus on his photography skill, and take up freelance projects in the meantime, he could become a professional photographer, never needing a job.

Veer didn’t have to kill himself, neither do you.

3. Who will be happy if you die?

There are two kinds of people in the world:   

1. Those who love you and want you to win and be happy
2. Those who hate you for whatever reason and want you to fail

Now, if you kill yourself, who will be happy- the b****** who hate you. Why would you want them to win? They have been criticizing you all your life, and telling you that you are worth nothing. Why would you want them to win?

You want to prove them wrong and eat humble pie.

Also, if you kill yourself, what would happen to, and of people who love you. Veer’s wife, whom he dearly loved, lets called her Veera, killed herself as well, because she couldn’t bear the new of his death.

Please, please don’t kill yourself.

4. Take medical help, if you think you are depressed

Depression is like an avalanche of negativity. If you think you are depressive thoughts, please visit a psychiatrist or a mental health expert. There are several mental health resources available online.  

I was depressed severely and suicidal at a point in my life, and have faced several life-threatening events post that event. But my reflection and thinking that arose during that period changed me as an individual.

Please take the right help. If you are a caretaker reading this, please take the person you are caring for, to a mental health expert.

There is no denying the fact that life is really hard. As hard as we are mentally, sometimes, life breaks us down, and we need to take a break, and take help. Please take help.

5. You ONLY have a chance if you are alive

You only have a chance to fix your problems, as long as you are alive. Don’t kill yourself. Don’t even hurt yourself. Once life is gone, it is gone forever. Right now, you may feel that you are in a fix and stuck in life.

If you end up killing yourself, you won’t have a chance anymore to fix anything. Even if you feel you have a 1% chance to making your life better, that would be gone forever. Don’t kill yourself yet.

6. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths

Please do this exercise with me. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus on your breath. Breathe in, and breathe out. Once your breath is stable think about the beautiful times you have had and what did you do to create them. Do this for a few minutes. The fact that you created some beauty in your life in the past, shows that you are capable of it.

You can do it in the future as well, once you are through this hard period you are going through. If you do this, you may find the hope that is missing right now.

You are not your hardships.

Make it a practice to do some conscious breathing every day. Meditate and let your thoughts wander. Meditation will calm down the chaos in your mind.

7. You really don’t want to kill yourself

No, unlike what you think, you do not want to kill yourself. You are currently overwhelmed by extreme negative thinking because your problems or circumstances have taken over your mind. You want to escape the pain of what you are facing. That’s fine. Please do that. But don’t kill yourself.

8. Trust that you will find a way out of your problems- don’t kill yourself

Trust yourself that you will find a way. If you think you will find a way because you are determined to do it, you will. Our mind does what we ask it to do.

If you tell yourself that you will find a way, once you feel better, you can make a list of 100 possible solutions, and try each of them out. It is quite possible that something will work. You may also want to take a different approach or a different set of solutions.

For example, if you are not finding a job after a lot of effort, you could consider starting a small business which takes minimal amount of capital. You could engage in something you are naturally good at, and try to create a career out of it.

If you keep trying, something is likely to work. If you are dead, you can’t keep trying.

9. Practice acceptance- don’t kill yourself

There are too many variables in life. We don’t control the outcomes. It is important to accept the good and the bad outcomes, knowing that we are not in control. This human need for a sense of control leads to break-downs because we feel we are responsible for everything, when we are not.

Accept what has happened, especially when it is painful. It will give you peace of mind. It is easier to accept what has happened when it is positive, because we are happy, and eager to give ourselves credit. However, when things are painful, it is harder to accept that couldn’t be otherwise than they are. You did the best you could, and couldn’t have done otherwise.

10. Let go of regret and guilt

People don’t commit suicide mostly because of physical pain. It’s the emotional pain of life that hurts us the most and we find it difficult to deal with it. Regret and guilt are two of the most hurtful and negative emotions which hurt us deeply.

Consider the fact that you did the best you could give, given your knowledge and experience. You did the best you could. May be, you know better now in hindsight. But hindsight is after event analysis. Let go of the pain of guilt and regret. You have been doing everything in the interest of joy and peace. If things turned out differently, that’s because there were other factors at play and you knew only so much.

Forgive yourself, please. Allow yourself to love yourself again. You matter.

11. Your past in gone, and doesn’t matter

You may be feeling overwhelmed because you are dissatisfied with the events in your past. It happens to all of us. We are suddenly inundated with thoughts about the time gone by, and nostalgia about it.

The problem with nostalgia is that it’s happiness that’s gone or it’s pain that’s gone. If it’s pain that’s gone, you will feel a sense of relief. However, even if it’s happiness that’s gone, you would only feel a sense of pain about it, because you can’t go back and feel that joy again. It’s gone forever.

You cannot live in the past. You can only live in the present. Come back to the current moment. Please let go of the bygones.

12. Learn to manage the anxiety for the future- don’t die

We feel anxious because life and future is uncertain, and sometimes, it completely envelopes and overwhelms us, making us feel that life is totally out of our hands. Anxiety is a feature of life. I have lost jobs several times, got depressed, lost a lot of people I loved, some died during the course of my life so far. I have faced so many existential threats that sometimes I tell myself that all of my life since those threats started, is a bonus.

The fact that painful things happen to us and people like us causes us anxiety and all we can do is to manage anxiety and learn to live with it. Seek help, as we mentioned above, but remember, anxiety is a life feature, and you can live with it and even surpass it, if you create enough resilience.

13. Do not kill yourself because you matter

I know. This may be quite hard to believe right now and you may be worthless. You may feel that you have failed personally, and have failed people who believe in you. But you matter. I am telling you that you matter and that your courage matters.

You are only dusted and fallen down because of the force of life, and you can stand back up, and restart life with everything you have learnt so far. Do not give up. Please, do not give up.

14. Life is precious- don’t throw it away

You see, we do not earn life. It comes to us as a gift. There is nothing we did to earn life. The fact that you have had some education, that you can read this, have the mind to understand this, have the character to find hope which I am trying to instil in you, are all things you could be grateful about right now, and be glad, if not happy about.

Your life is precious. Please do not throw it away. Dust yourself, and stand up. There is a lot you have to do right now. You have to earn a lot of happiness for yourself and people you love. Who knows, you may end up making the world a better place with the talents that you have. You are not ready to die, not yet.

In Conclusion

I have nothing left to say. Please don’t kill yourself, my friend. There is a lot left in you. Stand up, and fight for it.

Why do I write this blog?

The purpose of this blog is to help you find your happiness. Please read the other posts on the blog, and follow so that you get updates when new posts are published. Please share the post with your friends so that they can also find their happiness. If you have any feedback for me, please leave it in the comments and I would be happy to work on it. If you would like to support my writing and this blog, you may please send a donation through PayPal here.

I appreciate the time you spent in reading the blog and wish you happiness.

Love,

Amarvani

If you found this post useful, perhaps you would like to read this one as well:

35 reasons to live (when you feel suicidal)